Found Goddesses: Maiden Goddesses - Part I by Barbara Ardinger

Libida Loca

Goddess of Teenagers

Mother, is your house infested by adolescents? Are you drowning in angst and hip-hop? Do you wish you’d used better birth control fifteen years ago?

Is it a boy child? Would you have to use a backhoe to get down to the carpeting in his room? Does he ever leave any food in the fridge for anyone else? Does he spend so much time at his computer that he’s turning into a cyberteen? Would this be an improvement? Do you wish his air guitar would crash and burn?

Is it a girl child? Just how many telephones does she really need to keep in touch? Would you like to see CDs of all boy bands turned into serving dishes for the dog? Does your daughter address you as “motherrrrr” and look at you’re the same way she regards her exploding complexion? Is her closet twice as big as yours? Twice as full?

Mom, how did your children get this way? Overheated. Overdecibeled. Overcharged. Are you ready to sell them for body parts? Why aren’t they like kids used to be, say, back when you were a teenager, back when kids knew their proper place? What’s the matter with kids today?

Libida Loca, whose grandmother is Hormonia, really knows Her stuff. She’s stylin’ and She’s sassy. Libida Loca knows Leonardo[1] personally. She knows to the penny how much any pair of athletic shoes costs and how to pay for them. She understands that any given speed limit is a direct challenge to testosterone and that really big speakers just spread it around. She knows all the good Web sites and all the good malls. She’s the leader of the future of the human race.

Calm down, Mom. Take heart. There’s light at the end of that adolescent tunnel. Do you remember the story of the Pied Piper? How he took care of rats and mice … and kids? Libida Loca has a nice little penny whistle. She knows some cool tunes. She’ll take the kids to the Cave of Transformation under the mall. She’ll bring ’em back when they’re thirty-five.

Barbara Ardinger, Ph.D. (www.barbaraardinger.com), is the author of Pagan Every Day: Finding the Extraordinary in Our Ordinary Lives (RedWheel/Weiser, 2006), a unique daybook of daily meditations, stories, and activities. Her earlier books are Finding New Goddesses, Quicksilver Moon, Goddess Meditations, and Practicing the Presence of the Goddess. Her day job is freelance editing for people who don't want to embarrass themselves in print. Barbara lives in southern California. To purchase a signed copy of Finding New Goddesses, just send Barbara an email at bawriting@earthlink.net.