Intentional Insights by S. Kelley Harrell

Intentional Insights: Q&A From Within by S. Kelley Harrell

Mother, Social Worker, Inspiration

Thanks for your note, Melissa. You have a pattern of giving away your power. It's no wonder that as you approach the point in life that dependencies diminish, you've exhausted your own deeper resources. It's also no surprise that as some of your dependencies become self-sustaining, you collect new ones to have to care for. This pattern is symptomatic of an exhausted will. Like attracts like. Your needs are as great as those relying on you, and yours aren't being met. That's enough to quell excitement.

When I gather a circle for you, a proxy of yourself says, "I don't want to move on." I ask her what it is she doesn't want to release, and she tells me that as long as she's the family social worker, she doesn't have to face the consequences of feeling ineffective as a social worker for the general populace. There is a belief threaded through your etheric field, that as long as you are the primary caregiver of your family, you have control over the effectiveness of your efforts to care for them. The fear is that in serving a general population, you won't be able to stomach the many ways in which the system, families, and patients thwart care. You are very used to being the one who, despite a very busy and sometimes chaotic home, brings solitude. You are used to being the one who can bring balance to the concerns and pains of others. This is a very good thing, but there is an inherent control device driving it, that is preventing you from facing fears about actually doing social work. To that end, you have not tended your own pains. Until you do that the Universe can't manifest the things you want of job and security.

Keep in mind that you can only hold so much of yours and others' "stuff." The Universe could deliver the most perfect, amazing gift in answer to your request, but if your hands are full, you can't take it. Balance is key. If you're taking on too much in one area, you can't expect a peaceful clearing in others. It's all related, and getting the area of your life most out of balance into shape will allow all other areas to be more quiet and prosper. There are definitely boundaries to be learned and drawn in giving those you care for their freedom, but the area most out of balance for you is in self-care. You dole out so much for other people, that you don't have the energy to accept what the Universe has on reserve for you. If the dream job came knocking on your door right now, that would resolve your career and financial concerns, it would fry you, because you have not learned to put you first.

In that light, the proxy of you isn't avoidant--she's wise. She knows not to put the cart before the horse. You have all of the Universal support and opportunity you need in the wings. This is the time for you to really tend to yourself. You do not have to rush out and find a job this minute. Use the time you have to remember how to be excited for you. Your worth is not rooted in how much you selflessly do for others--family or patients. It's in how much you genuinely, wholly connect with All That Is as an active participant, which is the ultimate act in supporting all that you love. Your kids are ready for you to do this, even if it means uncomfortable changes for them. It's time for them to take on greater roles in household management. They need to see you revive your passions, so that they understand that adults get in ruts, and they get themselves out. I highly recommend energy work, Reiki, or some gentle, benevolent healing that will support you through this shuffling of priorities. I can do that remotely if you like, though finding a local practitioner is helpful. Something I feel will help you reignite your passion and get that book written is The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. She presents a grounded approach to reconnecting with inspiration, particularly for those of us who have set it aside in the care of others. In that light, yes, indeed you will find excitement again, and the job that fits your statement of need to the Universe will respond, when you and that job are an energetic match to each other. Take the time now to raise your life force and nourish yourself, so this match can occur. You will inspire yourself as much as your family and future patients. Be well, Melissa.
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To Heal or Not to Heal: Shamans in the New Era

A growing pain in the maturation of neoshamanism is the instinct to heal everything, that where there is energy imbalance it must balanced. Imbalance can occur in a person, a place, an animal, or an era. The inclination to heal at all cost can be viewed as a proactive model of health and wellbeing, no doubt the mindset many modern shamans bring to soul work. To indigenous healers, the 'must heal' mindset is very modern, and it embodies fear, isolation, even aggression. Because of its emphasis on the healer, the instinct carries with it arrogance, presumption, and idealism; thus is incomplete. It perpetuates the notion that imbalance is something to be viewed as broken, something unnatural, ideas that disregard the constantly changing state of Earth consciousness and experience. We are always in flux, and most of us realize profound growth not from balance or being out of balance, but in the process between the two. A task of the modern shaman is to embrace the full circle of Life, and in doing so, to impart that while perhaps uncomfortable, no facet of it is unnatural.

The starry promise of restoring full functionality throughout daily life omits Shadow. Shadow is no one thing. We tend to think of it as bad and what should be avoided, as western culture has demonized anything that doesn't dazzle with quick results. In fact, Shadow is usually the thing we most need to address in order to progress in the creation of ourselves. In the case of the 'go-fix-resolve' mentality, Shadow is forgetting to allow. Allow what? Whatever. No object is needed, when we are open to whatever is needed most. In that passive receptiveness the seed for healing blossoms into its unique destiny. We often forget how challenging it is to be passive, and those who practice it in meditation understand that to be passive doesn't mean to do nothing. It means to allow, not to stand in the way of. The full spectrum of everything must be honored, and frequently the best way to honor it is to stop naming specific outcomes. When the emphasis becomes a specified outcome, the focus is on the healer, not on the highest outcome for the client. The ego pursuit of assuming that something needs to be done usurps the passive healing power gifted us by the Multiverse. The notion that everything broken must be fixed separates us from our connection with All, implying not only that we can control everything and should attempt to, but that undesired outcomes of our actions are failures, mistakes, or weakness. In some cases, the best prescription to resolve symptoms, release pain, or balance the etheric field is death. Yet many modern shamans still view death as the result of healing methods not working. In many modern practitioners, the natural healing properties of death are considered failure.

There are schools of thought that all energy or spiritual healing is good. While the argument is strong, it's not that the work is good or bad. What is in question is the intent behind it. When we assume work should be done for a client based on intuitive observation--which for some shamans occurs instantly without journeying--lacking the consent of the client and/or impeccably clear direction from the client's guides to do that work, we are operating outside the connection of All That Is. Outside that bond, nothing good can come. In some cases, if energy is shifted without examining the wider picture, more harm is caused than good. For instance, if a client has a terminal illness, just extracting the illness can make the "sick" cells more aggressive. The body, in this case, has forgotten how to function without the offending cells. Other supportive healing must be done first, and if it becomes possible, the imbalanced energy can be removed. Soul retrieval is another example. Returning soul aspects the individual is not ready for psychologically or emotionally can exacerbate the reasons the retrieval was done. In such situations, active intervention actually diminishes healing.

Some argue that the question of intent is, in part, why we have passive healing modalities such as Reiki, the Japanese healing art providing passive rejuvenation of life force, and hosts of spirit guides to call upon for aid. These are approaches to healing in which we express need to them then step aside, allowing their work to be done. They are an opportunity not to have to control everything, to honor the connection with All, and allow Multiversal support to work as it will.

Ultimately, healing isn't about what symptoms go away, what miracles happen, or what death occurs. It's about being connected to All Things and having a sense of peace that regardless of what occurs, we are well, we are in good company, and we are loved. As shamanic healers, we are often a final destination along a client's path toward healing. Traditional modalities, even more accepted alternative ones have been tried with little or no results. It is sincerely challenging to look into the eyes of someone who has struggled to find healing and tell that person that all a shaman can do is facilitate allowing, between the client and All That Is. Yet that is our express obligation. We guarantee no specific outcomes, only that All listens and delivers. In the connection, we know when our influence is needed and when we should refrain from acting. The cradle of healing rests in that balance and that is the best comfort we give.
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Faeries Seeking Real Estate

Thanks for your note, A. Maria. I don't have to ask your guides what you saw that night, because I know from your description and from the way its energy feels in your note what it was. You saw faeries, and I know because I've seen them, too. One experience was in an area known to host faeries, and another time occurred randomly, when I was a child. The mist you describe, the orbs, the colors and the elusive movement were familiar. As an adult, what I saw was very similar to the orbs and movement you describe, and I wrote about it in my Samhain series last year. A friend submitted his account of that same sighting on a website that chronicles faerie experiences. The siting when I was a child, I didn't think of as faeries until I read your description of the circling, swirling light. All these years, I’ve wondered what I saw when I heard a noise and peered out the window of my grandparents’ home in South Carolina. I was about 7-8 years old, and saw what I could only describe as a carousel of light with lighted objects moving within the overall structure. Everyone else was asleep, and I remember sitting and watching it for what seemed like quite a long time. Eventually I went back to bed and it was gone in the morning. I don’t recall ever telling anyone about it. In my adult experience, I was as dumbfounded as you, not because I was a disbeliever but because no context I had suited what I saw. Even having fantasied about seeing such a thing and how I'd react, I just wasn't prepared for how astounding and inexplicable it was. Apparently, we're not alone.

A lot of people see faeries, and it seems that while they can be "everywhere," they frequently aren't. I think that’s because faeries are Nature spirits, and humanity doesn't do a great job, on the whole, of looking after Nature. They can't thrive where land is toxic. I have never found a good resource on faerie energy. There are books on their mythos, most of which don't feel remotely accurate to what I have felt and seen. Most documenters try to break them down into hierarchies and describe their various roles and strata of dwelling... Such books tend to romanticize and attach channeled meaning as fact, which is fine in its place. I've just never found a single resource that really captured that spirit--no pun. My best teacher has been working with the faeries, themselves, sort of holding that body of collected knowledge loosely alongside my own experiences. I can tell you that they are hardworking and primal, they interact with the life force of flowering life to keep it vital, and they carry precious insights into Nature that few humans experience.

With that in mind, that you saw them wasn't accident, and you can see them again. When I connect with the light energy that you saw, my sense is that it wasn’t just faeries, the wee beings, but also the passage they move through between their native "dimension" (plug in the term that makes the most sense to you), and here. Those particular beings have not always been in the spot where you saw them. In fact, the buzz I get is that they are looking for a new place to “put their portal,” so to speak. I’m not sure what the criteria is for deciding that location, other than a tranquil area fiercely guarded by a human counterpart. Could that be you? That’s your decision to make. The place that I saw the faeries as an adult operates on such an agreement. The caretaker of that land is an elderly lady who agreed to keep the land safe and well-tended, in exchange for visits from the faeries and the ability to communicate with them. It’s a contract she takes very seriously, on literal and spiritual levels. She’s acted in this role for probably 15-20 years.

I highly encourage you to explore your own intentions and ego around such a responsibility, not just to the faeries but to the land they are investigating. Can you, in your deepest heart, offer them peaceful ground to live on? Can you look after that land and keep it pure and thriving? It’s a package deal. I would suggest a few things to consider in your decision process: be clear in yourself for your reasons for wanting to “host” them; practice writing out an intention you would present to them outlining your responsibilities to them and what you need from them (within reason) in return, then present this agreement to them; learn to sense energy in the atmosphere, as they are primarily beings without dense forms; study an animistic approach to communicating with Nature, specifically learning to navigate the Middle World. The last two suggestions are based in that if you were going to host an exchange student, you’d learn some facets of the person’s culture and language. It’s only fitting to have as much insight as possible into the faeries, should you decide to share your space with them. They already know about you and are hoping to have a confidante. Best of luck, A Maria!
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The Role of Fear in Soul Travel

Thanks for your note, Curious--and good to see you again! In the beginning, there were many times that I was frightened by where I went, what I saw, or what I learned. For me that era was one of releasing preconceptions of how I thought the unformed world and its inhabitants should be, and learning to be amongst what is. I don't get frightened in that way, anymore. I've gained a healthy detachment from the events I witness and locations I visit. If I did not maintain detachment, I would be too emotionally involved to help my clients. That said, learning detachment is a huge part of shamanic initiation. That process in itself is a transmutation of fear into power. Another reason that such detachment can be created is in developing a close relationship with my spirit guides and higher soul aspects, to let them lead things, let them do things, and keep my ego as an information-only vessel. Within those relationships and the confidence I gain by choosing to honor my intuition, fear dissipates.

What I learn in travels can be very difficult to hold, specifically because what I learn usually carries charged emotions. It's not easy to witness someone's rape, or to learn that someone's mother hated them from conception... These are very charged situations would cause most anyone to respond emotionally. In that context, I don't become afraid when I see things for a client; rather, I feel such empathy that I have to detach, so that I am not the one processing the emotions, leaving the client the room to process them. If I anything more than witness those emotions, it becomes about me and my response, not about client's response. In most cases, the client wanted me to see these things--however specifically or metaphoric--and report them back, so that some deeper validation could occur. Such is a brave process on all points.

Of healing travels for myself, again, I haven't learned things that frightened me, so much as made very emotional discoveries that pointed to dynamics in my present, or indicated patterns of my past, that astounded me. Even in that framework, the focus has to remain on what releases that emotional charge, allowing the feelings to complete their process and abate so that healing at mental, physical, and spiritual levels can be done. Fear isn't part of that process for me, but certainly humility, ego, anger, pain, and eventually joy, are.

Without question, I face more fears in my own mind than I find manifest in the formed world or laying in wait in the unformed. For that reason, I do feel that fear plays a role as catalyst in soul travel. Often fears I've created in my mind are soothed by my soul treks, and without the fear I may not have made the journey to greater healing. Thanks for your Curious question!

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Intentional Insights is a Q&A column inviting you to look inside yourself. Submit questions regarding a brief Soul Reading, spiritual healing, paranormal experiences, or shamanism, to Kelley at soulintentarts dot com, or contact me to schedule a full-length Soul Reading. Intentional Insights is a production of Soul Intent Arts, © 2010 All Rights Reserved. Find my current class schedule at Soul Intent Arts. ~S. Kelley Harrell, C. Ht.~ Author of Gift of the Dreamtime: Awakening to the Divinity of Trauma Soul Intent Arts ~ Class Schedule ~ KH.com Contact Me Intentional Insights: Q&A From Within The Role of Fear in Soul Travel