Ask Your Mama by Mama Donna Henes

Are you cyclically confused? In a ceremonial quandary?

Completely clueless? Wonder no more.

 

                                                *Ask Your Mama™                                     

 

The What, When, Where, Why, How, and Who of

Ceremony & Spirituality

by

©Mama Donna Henes, Urban Shaman

A Question of Self Nurturing

Dear Mama Donna,

I have been caring for other people for so long that I don’t think I know how to take care of myself. Whenever I think of some self-care rituals, I fly off to some nebulous airy mental space and lose my resolve. I need to be able to root myself in the physical plane and know that I can keep my feet on the ground. This seems to be really scary for me. How can I learn to nurture me in a real way that is healing?

In need of mothering in San Diego

Dear Mom,

The physical plane connects us with the here and now — it is the world as we perceive it through our five senses, the life that we embody. Real Life. The most effective way to nurture ourselves, body and soul, is to treat the minutiae of our dailiness, the mundane and the profane parts of our life, in a consciously celebratory manner. When we practice the art of approaching all facets of life with the same dedicated devotion that one would apply to an important ritual occasion, and the craft of making every detail matter and every minute really count, we are validating our own worth and importance. It is this constant presence in the present that ultimately nourishes, energizes, and heals us. 

                        I have a simple philosophy.

                        Fill what’s empty. Empty

            what’s full. And scratch

            where it itches.

            -Alice Roosevelt Longworth

            1884-1980

Time spent in the bath, with a good book, exercising, and even doing domestic routines, can feel like holy rites of devotion if we perform them with the focused intention of Self-care and concern. Our concentration = consecration. Meals, for instance can certainly be more than the mere rushed intake of calories, nutrients, television news, and bickering. A normal supper can be one of life’s most agreeable ceremonies if we establish a comfortable, leisurely, aesthetic, emotionally safe environment in which to enjoy food and convivial company even — especially — if it is “only” that of our own.

I suggest that you concentrate on feeding yourself as the first step in your efforts to mother yourself in concrete ways. Nothing is so real as food. It represents love at its most primal, basic level.

When is the last time someone cooked a special meal for you? More to the point, when is the last time you cooked a special meal especially for you?

What are you waiting for?

If you are never alone at dinnertime, do lunch. Or brunch, or breakfast, or high tea, or midnight snack.

 

Create an out-of-the-ordinary menu that might include your favorite culinary treats, or foods that you have always wanted to/meant to try. Or you may want to create a fantasy feast or recreate a memorable meal from your childhood or travels or reading.

Cook with the intention to nourish and please yourself, purposefully infusing the food with love, just as you would in anticipation of any honored guest.

Set your table with all of the special things that you love, but never use. Use your grandmother’s plate or vase, cloth napkins, and your good stemware.

Create a centerpiece that honors and celebrates you. Place fresh flowers or foliage or your favorite houseplant in the center of the table. Set out some of your amulets or holy items that represent your intention to treat your Self well. Light candles to ignite your intention.

Pour a libation of wine or ice tea and offer a toast to you — your health, your happiness, your life.

Serve your Self!

To your health,

xxMama Donna

*Are you cyclically confused? In a ceremonial quandary? Completely clueless? Wonder no more. *Send your questions about seasons, cycles, celebrations, ceremonies and spirit to Mama Donna at: CityShaman@aol.com

*****************************************************

Donna Henes is an internationally renowned urban shaman, eco-ceremonialist, award-winning author, popular speaker and workshop leader whose joyful celebrations of celestial events have introduced ancient traditional rituals and contemporary ceremonies to millions of people in more than 100 cities since 1972. She has published four books, a CD, an acclaimed quarterly journal and writes a column for UPI (United Press International) Religion and Spirituality Forum. Mama Donna, as she is affectionately called, maintains a ceremonial center, spirit shop, ritual practice and consultancy in Exotic Brooklyn, NY where she works with individuals, groups, institutions, municipalities and corporations to create meaningful ceremonies for every imaginable occasion.

For information about upcoming events and services contact:

Mama Donna's Tea Garden & Healing Haven

PO Box 380403

Exotic Brooklyn, New York, NY 11238-0403

Phone: 718/857-1343

Email: CityShaman@aol.com

www.DonnaHenes.net

www.MamaDonnasSpiritShop.com/

www.TheQueenofMySelf.com

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donna_Henes

Read her blog at:

http://www.myspace.com/queenmamadonna

http://queenmamadonna.blogspot.com

http://mamadonnahenes.gaia.com/

Book Review: Fight Like A Girl: How To Be a Fearless Feminist by Megan Seely

Book Review by Dawn “Belladonna” Thomas

New York University Press, New York and London, 2007

ISBN-13: 978-0814740026

I was intrigued by the title of this book and picked it up on a whim. I am glad that I did. Even though this book is written for the perspective of the third wave generation of feminists (These are women under the age of 40), there is a lot of valuable information for all women. There are different ideas and approaches are valuable to everyone. This book is divided into eight chapters:

The F-Word: An introduction is a discussion on how feminism became a bad word - ‘the f-word.” First and foremost, feminism simply means that women are the equals of men. A feminist is someone who supports this principle. Feminism is about advocacy, activism, standing up, and speaking out. It is about fighting for social justice. Feminism does not have a static definition but encompasses and encourages many types of feminism. She tells the history of the “bra-burning” incident (where bras were not actually burned). Ms. Seely gives us a list of things to thank the feminism movement for. She asks the question, “Why people are afraid of women having equality.”

Fight Like a Girl – discusses activism and things that anyone can do to support the feminist movement. She discusses ways to incorporate activism into daily life and opportunities that are all around us. She states that true equality and respect have not yet been achieved and that makes activism a necessity. The movement belongs to us all and we should all contribute to share a stake in it.

Catch a Wave – This section describes the different waves (generations) of the women working for feminism. The feminist movement has a rich history – a history full of struggle, sacrifice, justice, resistance, and many victories. The first wave is marked as the suffrage movement during the 1800s and 1900s. The second wave occurred during the 1960s and 1970s was characterized by economic and personal power with abortion rights and domestic violence laws. The term “third wave” is a way to identify with today’s feminism and not just with a movement that has been presumed to belong only to our foremothers. She tells us about Convention of the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW). This was adopted by the U.N. General Assembly in December 1979, and is the first international human rights treaty to define discrimination against women. Interestingly, as of March 1, 2009, the United States has not ratified it.

A Movement for Everyone – This section addresses the fact that men are also included in feminism. The author provides information on several men’s organizations that are actively working towards equality for all. The author makes a statement that until men recognize the importance of sharing partnership with women and begin to fight a patriarchy that hurts not just women but also men, we – women and men alike – will not achieve true equality and the endless benefits that go along with it. There are lists of Do’s and Don’ts for both veteran and young feminists but the most important message is to give credence to both groups. She discusses the problems faced by women with disabilities, transgendered, and intersexed. She also states that together we are strong and our fight is a collective one and that for any of us to be free from oppression, we must all be free from oppression.

At the Table – this section discusses the history of a few important women in the fight for equality. There are also references to the different attributes that are associated with children (boys are tough and girls are sweet, etc.). Also a good discussion on the powerful role the media plays in our society. She gives her opinion that the government should stay out of religion and religion out of government. She touches on the glass ceiling that it is invisible and it is not discovered until one tries to pass through it. She informs us on Title IX of the 1972 Education Amendments is a federal statue that prohibits sex discrimination in education and also prohibits sexual harassment by employees or agents of a school.

Good Enough – discusses the fact that all women (whether they say they are a feminist are not) have the same issues facing other women (eating disorders, etc.). This is another example how strong our culture is today. The culture is what needs to change, not women and not feminism.

Knock ‘Em Up… Knock ‘Em Down – discusses the need for women-centered health agendas , She also writes of the need to make menstruation a positive experience instead of dirty or shameful. It is something that should be honored and celebrated in a in a supportive, respectful, and nonjudgmental way.

Fighting Back – This chapter discusses the fact that women have always been warriors; a fact that has been documented from Greek and Roman times to modern day. Ms. Seely discusses ways to try to end rape and provide support to the victims. Violence prevention is a key area of activism for feminist men. She discusses that millions of women around the globe live with violence every day and millions more have undergone female genital mutilation.  It is the fight for recognition that will protect women and punish perpetrators.

…. Like A Girl – She reminds us the importance of fighting for the women that have fought before us and create a better world for all of all. There are many lists of excellent references which includes books and websites. There are timelines for activist work and a history of important milestones in the battle for equal rights. I highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to increase their knowledge of feminism. Because equity is still an issue!

Celtic Astrology for Lughnasad by Carmen Reyes

If You were born July 8 – August 4

Your Tree Sign is

Holly

Ilex

Botanical Information

Ilex aquifolium , the English Holly, grows wild and is cultivated in Europe and the U.S. Holly has glossy, prickly leaves, is usually evergreen, and can be found as a tree or a shrub. The trees and shrubs will withstand the most severe winters; they can grow in any kind of soil and will tolerate shade. The red berries are only found on the female tree. Not all hollies are evergreen; one deciduous holly is the mountain winterberry, I. montana, a shrub which may reach small tree size. Its leaves are saw-toothed, oval and olive green and its berries are orange-red.  Holly was once used to make axes, swords and charcoal.

Tree Name

The word holly in Old English means either “holen” or “holegn”, “the holly tree”. The French word “houx”, means “shrub”.

Tree Goddess

Holle

A northern European Triple Goddess, maiden, mother and crone, who is seen as a woman from the front and as a tree from the back, Holle is known as a Goddess of the Forest. She is similar to Baba Yaga who lives in a cottage deep in the forest.  As the crone of the winter, Holle, known as the Goddess Holda, makes snow by “shaking out her feather cover”. She may be an older form of Hel, Goddess of the underground.

Tree Attributes

Throughout history, holly has been considered a plant of protection.

Holly's protective powers are especially useful during the dark winter months of the year; they are a sign of faith that the apparent death of the green world is temporary.

Holly is also a sign of revenge in the name of justice.  As a battle waging spear, Holly is a force which will right a wrong.

Tree Personality

Holly protects itself with its spiny leaves so too the holly personality. They can be overly sensitive, spiteful, vindictive, bitter and somewhat irritable. They are known for their unreasonable expectations although they can be examples of drive and steadfastness as the holly braves the long winters still fresh and green, they too can find refreshment from their inner resources, replacing hopelessness with joy.

Tree Craft

A sprig of Holly can be used to invoke a warrior spirit. During a waxing moon invite Eris, the sister of Mars, or perhaps the Goddess Boudica to champion your cause and bring you victory.

Tree Essence

The English Holly, Ilex aquifolium, is known as the “opener of the heart”, used whenever there are agitated states, aggression, jealousy or possibly hatred. Holly encourages forgiveness, universal love and a sense of belonging to all humanity.

Tree Message

Lady of the Fighting Spirit rises from fiery flames clothed with armor. She is a sign of focused will, mastery and victory, remaining green and vital during the coldness of winter, providing the fire of inspiration which shapes our destiny.

Tree Affirmation

“I am victorious”

Bibliography

Ball, Stefan. Bach Flower Remedies, Lincolnwood (Chicago), Illinois: NTC/Contemporary Publishing, 2000

Dugan, Ellen. Herb Magic for Beginners: Down to Earth Enchantments. Woodbury, Minnesota: Llewellyn Publications, 2008

Fergus, Charles. Trees of New England. Guilford, Connecticut: The Globe Pequot Press, 2005

Graham, Mark, and Heather Buchan. The Celtic Tree Ogham. Milverton, Somerset: Capall Bann, 2006

Hagender, Fred. The Meaning of Trees. San Francisco, California: Chronicle Books LLC, 2005

Hopman, Evert Ellen. A Druid’s Herbal for the Sacred Year. Rochester, Vermont: Destiny Books, 1995

Hopman, Evert Ellen. A Druid’s Herbal of Sacred Tree Medicine. Rochester, Vermont: Destiny Books, 2008

Kerr, Linda. The Hazel Nut, Volume 1, Issue 3. Auburn, Alabama: Faerie Faith Tradition, 1993

Laurie, Erynn Rowan. Ogham Weaving Word Wisdom. Stafford, UK: Megalithica Books, 2007

Moorey, Teresa. The Magic and Mystery of the Trees. Milverton, Somerset: Capall Bann, 2006

Paterson, Helena. The Handbook of Celtic Astrology. St. Paul, Minnesota: Llewellyn Press, 1995

Quarrie, Deanne. From the Branch a Primer in Dianic Witchcraft. Rockmart, Georgia: The Apple Branch Press, 2008

Found Goddesses: Maiden Goddesses - Part 4 by Barbara Ardinger, Ph.D.

Mimsy Borogove

The Muse of Attitude

          Editor’s note: The following interview was found in a trunk in the attic of an obscure mathematician. The trunk, which was left on the doorstep of the present Editor by a Mysterious Stranger, contains a number of poems written in an outlandish language which the present Editor is determined to translate and publish in multiple volumes (just like some of our favorite mystery writers).

          Finding New Goddesses. Ms. Borogove, you say you’re a Muse. Why aren’t you a Goddess like the rest of the Ladies in this book?

          Mimsy Borogove. That is Miss Borogove to you. I don’t hold with those modern honorifics.

          FNG. So sorry.

          Mimsy Borogove. Quite right. I am a Goddess. I am a specialized Goddess. I am made of finer stuff than your every-day deities and I am Privy to the Secrets of the Universe. I know, for example, how slithy the toves actually were, and I saw what the momeraths were doing. No, no, no, don’t ask. Outgrabing does not make a pretty picture. And when a night becomes brillig, well, let’s just say that it’s best to remain indoors with the curtains firmly shut. Many Goddesses are prosaic, donchew know, whilst I am prosodic. I know The Rules.

          FNG. What are you the Muse of?

          Mimsy Borogove. I rule All The Finer Things In Modern Life. Disco. Limericks. Thick romance novels and made-for-TV movies that run on and on and on. Laugh-In and daytime drama. Astrology. Christian pop rock. Why, you must know that I inspire the lot of them! And, let me modestly admit (though I never like to brag), it is I that was invoked of old by the likes of Virgil and John Milton. Well, let me think a moment. Ah, yes. Here it is.

Of man’s first disobedience, and the fruit of that forbidden tree,

sing o heavenly muse of arms and the man.

Let us sing a somewhat loftier strain and regain the blissful seat,

of goodness so wondrous, sing o Queen of Heaven, o heavenly muse . . . .[1]

I rather like that “heavenly muse” part, don’t you?

          FNG. Er ... yes. You have an impressive track record. What can you tell us of your history?

          Mimsy Borogove. Well, I no longer remember my mother’s name, though She was terribly big and important. I strongly suspect that my father was William F’Buckley. Very attitudinal gentleman, donchew know, and his vocabulary, well, certainly A Notch Above. One has heard, of course, of My nine sisters. They got the famous assignments—tragedy, comedy, the poetries, astronomy, dance. Whatever. I would have done, but Mum was saving me for The Better Things. And here I am now, donchew know, A Modern Muse For The Modern World! Isn’t it Unfortunate that one no longer hears from one’s trashy sisters. Oh, they have those tacky marble statues, and Clio got that award named after her (advertising, what kind of honor is that, I ask you), but I’ve got the Genuine Pizzazz.

          FNG. Er, yes. I’ve heard that the word “museum” comes from “muse.” Can you comment on that?

          Mimsy Borogove. I can tell you that musea—that’s the proper plural of museum, you realize—that musea preserve the culture of the age. Of all ages. And what is the most enculturated part of a museum? It’s the gift shop. We Muses always keep Our Priorities (and Our Gifts) Quite Firmly In Hand.

          FNG. What projects are you currently working on?

          Mimsy Borogove. Oh, I’ve quite moved away from the visual arts. These days, I’m looking over e-publishing. Quite the coming thing, what? One seems to have a great deal of time on one’s hands, and e-publishing gives one an entire new generation to hover over. F’Buckley alone knows whom one might inspire!

          FNG. Mimsy Borogove, star of stage, screen, and several rather fascinating inner worlds, thank you for your time.

          Mimsy Borogove. Delighted, I’m sure.

Barbara Ardinger, Ph.D. (www.barbaraardinger.com), is the author of Pagan Every Day: Finding the Extraordinary in Our Ordinary Lives (RedWheel/Weiser, 2006), a unique daybook of daily meditations, stories, and activities. Her earlier books are Finding New Goddesses, Quicksilver Moon, Goddess Meditations, and Practicing the Presence of the Goddess. Her day job is freelance editing for people who don't want to embarrass themselves in print. Barbara lives in southern California. To purchase a signed copy of Finding New Goddesses, just send Barbara an email at bawriting@earthlink.net.

Mama Donna's Spirit Shop

MarVeena Meek

www.ghostqueen.com marveena@ghostqueen.com Let's stay in touch!         MarV talks about her Near Death Experience on this radio interview.

Metamorphosis by Bendis

Sometime between the ages of 35 and 55, give or take, a woman enters a phase in her life that can only be described as metamorphosis. Yes, most call it peri-menopausal or menopausal, but truly such changes occur in each woman’s life at this time and it truly is a metamorphosis.

 

It is that time in her life when she stops producing as much estrogen but the production is often haphazard, sporadic and certainly unpredictable. This affects every aspect of her life. She might notice her eyes being dry in the morning, feeling like grating sand when she tries to open them. Her bleeding times may come on at different intervals or not at all. She may bleed more – she may bleed less. She may experience hot flashes – you ask, “What does that feel like?” Imagine a wave of hot air hitting you in the back of your neck and head – instantly causing you to break out in a sweat. You might even get red in the face! All of this, of course, is without warning, and happening at the most inconvenient times. You will often exclaim, “Is it hot in here?”

 

Night sweats – now these are fun! You will find yourself waking up in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes able to go back to sleep but often not. It may take awhile for you to notice that along with this wakefulness come the drenched bed covers and sleepwear! Ye gads!

This, my sisters, is the best of it. There is more you ask? Oh my, yes! Let’s talk about the mood swings! Imagine PMS every day – now, not all day – but all of the emotional expressions of PMS become your regular friends. Bitchiness, bad temper, impatience, foul moods, unexpected tears, and a general “leave me the heck alone” feeling! Your friends and family will wonder what is happening to the sweet, levelheaded woman who used to be in their lives. Actually, this is a very beneficial process of pushing aside all of the garbage we load ourselves down with and the phony fronts we feel we have to put on to be what is expected instead of who we really are. This process is truly a shedding – you are the Sacred Snake of Becoming!  

If your friends wonder – share that with them. Tell them that you are the Sacred Snake shedding Her skin! You may even feel like “hissing.” This is your time of metamorphosis and in the end, a magnificent Crone will appear. Guaranteed! 

 

Oh, did I tell you that your hair will mysteriously disappear from all over your body as well? Ye gads, someone ought to tell you that pubic hair is not forever! Nor are thick eyelashes or shapely eyebrows. Those will suddenly grow in every direction imaginable. You might even get nose hair! The good news is you won’t have to shave your legs near as often and if you are like me – you will just quit shaving altogether!  

All of this is your practice zone for the Crone that is coming. The Crone who won’t give a darn what people think. This is your training ground for letting go of all of those “people pleasing” ideas. This transitioning time will allow you to test the waters for being outrageous and of course, will give your friends and family a taste of what is yet to come! This is your time to shed all the cumbersome clothing and the clinging trappings of a sedate life and learn to fly – even if one day you might need a cane!  

 

My advice for you is to accept this as a normal part of your life. Welcome the surging emotions for it may be the first time in your life that you can actually feel them fully as well as find new ways to express them. Love them, for they come from you. They will force themselves on you, so become their friend.  Love yourself. Give all the loving care to yourself that you would to a beloved “other.” Follow a healthy diet. Learn ways to adjust to these changes gently. Make your bath your comfort zone, complete with soft music, candles, and some sweet smelling herbs. Be patient with yourself. Forgive yourself. Most important of all, be your authentic self. You are a beautiful wonder!  

Author’s Bio: In the Goddess community, Deanne Quarrie is known as Bendis, Fierce Huntress of the Two Spears, Priestess of the Goddess. Bendis spent the early part of her life as a student of world religion, finally finding Goddess in mid-life.  Diving headlong into what she considered life’s greatest treasure, Deanne has never looked back.  Her work as a priestess has been dedicated to the empowerment of women and helping them to learn of the ecstasy of Her dance.  She has written four books which can be purchased at http://www.lulu.com/applebranch  Bendis has spent the last eleven years heavily involved on the Internet, weaving webs through continents, networking and pointing seekers far and wide, serving as moderator for many e-groups, as both peacekeeper and technical advisor for thousands of women as they grew in Goddess. Through the Apple Branch – A Dianic Tradition, Bendis has mentored many women as they studied to become priestesses themselves.  These women now share their knowledge and guide other women both in the United States and in Europe.

To learn more of the Ogham http://blueroebuck.com 

The Apple Branch – A Dianic Tradition http://applebranch.org

Moon Schedule from First Harvest to Fall Equinox

By Dawn “Belladonna” Thomas

(Times are Eastern Time)

Full “Corn” Moon – August 5^th 8:55 p.m.

4^th Quarter – August 13^th 2:55 p.m.

New Moon – August 20^th 6:01 a.m.

2^nd Quarter –August 27^th 7:42 a.m.

Full “Harvest” Moon – September 4^th 12:02 p.m.

4^th Quarter – September 11^th 10:16 p.m.

New Moon – September 18^th 2:44 p.m.

Moon Void of Course Schedule

Date                                   Starts                                  Ends

Planting Days

August 7^th, 8^th, 9^th, 12^th, 13^th, 16^th, 17^th, 25^th, 26^th

September 3^rd, 4^th, 5^th, 8^th, 9^th, 10^th, 13^th, 14^th, 21^st, 22^nd

Harvesting Days

August 6^th, 10^th, 11^th, 15^th, 18^th, 19^th

September 6^th, 7^th, 11^th, 12^th, 15^th, 16^th

Pagan Parenting by Sarah Buhrman

On the surface there doesn't seem to be much of a difference between parenting and pagan parenting. However, pagan parenting, like all spiritual-based parenting techniques, takes into account a larger picture than most parenting styles encompass. Pagan parenting or spiritual parenting takes into account the effects of, and on, the soul.

As I write this, I am reminded of two things. The first is my son's behavior this morning. He's two now, so you can imagine how much FUN he can be, and by fun I mean a royal pain. He doesn't like to leave in the morning, so getting to work on time (or even close to it) is virtually impossible. He's also getting potty trained right now, so I get to spend a lot of time cleaning up messes.

The thing is, I'm always getting advice from my own parents, often accompanied by information that I know is unsafe or a negative influence. If I say so, the response is something like "we did this and you're still alive". Okay, but I don't want my son to just survive, I want him to thrive! Big difference in result, not much difference in effort.

The second thing I'm reminded of is my decision. As a single mother, I had to think (for a whole five seconds) about whether to continue down the path of motherhood. I never wanted to be a parent, but when it happened, well, it was destined to be. But I refused to enter into this adventure lightly. I spent hours and hours thinking about my responsibilities to this new life I had created.

One of the big things I pondered was that I was making the choice, not my son. That makes his life my responsibility, that makes his growth and development my burden, or purpose. How he turns out is a direct result of how I embark on this journey. His soul is as much mine to care for as is his body. Talk about stress!

Yeah, I had some doubts as to whether I could handle that kind of responsibility. But I had an advantage over my own and many other parents - I know what my purpose, my responsibility, to my son includes. Heck, I even have a vague idea of how I can live up to this responsibility.

So, I spent the next 10 months (yeah, he was twice-baked) doing research. Number one subject was child development information. In other words, if I expect certain behavior from my son, is it age-appropriate, or will I just end up punishing him for behaving the way he is built to behave?

Seems like a no-big-deal kind of thing, right? Well, what happens when someone tells you that you are too loud, too happy, too shy, etc.? Aren't they punishing you for being you? Is that fair of them? How does it make you feel? Wouldn't it be nice if they just accepted you for you? Don't your children deserve the same?

Number two subject was psychological development, beyond the norm. It's called trans-personal psychology. It explains what the difference is between being functional in life and being one of the greats. If I can help my child achieve that level of self-confidence and generosity of heart, why wouldn't I?

Number three subject was more of an introspection. Taking all of the information that I had learned, I applied it to my own beliefs on spirituality.Then I had to try to figure out how to pass on my beliefs to my son while keeping the spirit of his psychological and mental development. Fortunately, they mesh well together into a single concept: RESPECT.

So, I'm on my journey, teaching my son to respect others, respect the earth, and respect the devine as an individual and within others. Meanwhile, I am also teaching him to respect himself (a hallmark of a healthy self-esteem) by respecting him from birth.

This doesn't mean that he gets away with everything or runs the show. But I do listen to him and explain to him (in age-appropriate language and concepts) why he doesn't get his way. I also keep in mind that he deserves to be treated with a certain amount of honor, as well as respect. I wouldn't spank my friend, or even an unliked co-worker, for doing something "wrong", so why would I spank my son? I teach him that we use towels and cloth diapers so we don't have so much trash. I explain to him that daycare is where he needs to go so that I can go to work (and I HAVE to go to work!).

These are some of my choices. I recommend that each parent or parent-to-be get educated on different parenting techniques. There are so many good ideas in virtually all parenting styles. And the more you know about how things can be done, the better you can decide what should be done. And really, that's the only thing a parent really can do.

Solitary Ritual by Dawn "Belladonna" Thomas

First Harvest Solitary Ritual

By Dawn "Belladonna" Thomas

The Feast of the First Fruits

Ripening

Items Needed for Ritual:

Green, yellow, and orange candles (representing the changing seasons)

Small loaf of bread

Cauldron

Wicker basket with fruits and grains

Chalice with grape juice, wine or mead

Salt and water to cleanse and cast the circle

Relaxing music

Preparations for the Ritual:

Prepare to answer the following seasonal questions for yourself during the ritual.

What can be, or needs to be, sacrificed for my harvest?

How do I share my abundance with others?

How do I manifest my power?

How do I support myself and others in attaining or manifesting our life goals?

Altar:

The altar is decorated with fruits and grains. There is a cauldron with a candle at the center of circle. At the edge of the cauldron is a loaf of bread. Candles representing the changing seasons will be placed in a triangle shape.

Cleanse the area with salt water and incense as you cast the circle.

Calling the Goddess

Hail to Demeter, the Earth Mother and Goddess of the Harvest. You have provided for us with your abundant harvests. Please join me today.

Calling the Elements

Hail to the Element of the East, Ancient Spirit of Air. The warm breeze cools and cleanses me in the summer heat. Please join me today.

Hail to the Element of the South, Ancient Spirit of Fire. The sun warms the earth during the long summer afternoons. Please join me today.

Hail to the Element of the West, Ancient Spirit of Water. Your warm rains provide nourishment to the harvest. Please join me today.

Hail to the Element of the North, Ancient Spirit of Earth. The earth is full of golden fields full of ripe fruit and grain. Please join me today.

Reflection and Affirmation

The harvest season is here and with it come the first fruits. This is a time to be thankful for the labor and struggles needed for the harvest. This is the height of the year. May the bounty of this season keep me strong in body, mind, and soul.

What do I ask of the harvest? What did I begin earlier in the year that has grown and is ready to come fully into my life? What can be or needs to be sacrificed for my harvest? How do I share the abundance of my harvest with others? How do I manifest my power? How do I support myself and others in attaining or manifesting our life goals?

I sacrifice to the Goddess the behaviors and attitudes that will hinder the completion of my own personal harvest. I will weed out anything not essential that might impede it coming to fruition. I will change my priorities so that they are what I want or need and I will make any changes necessary to achieve my goals. I give thanks for the gifts around me and for the good fortune in my life.

Meditation and Crafts

Meditate on my personal harvest: growing prosperity and accomplishing the needs or goals for the good of all.

While making a corn doll or making a braid with onion and garlic bulbs, say the Song of the Corn Maiden (by Carol Christ).

There's plenty to eat, plenty to drink,

Plenty to keep us toasty warm

Plenty to clean, plenty to heal,

Plenty to keep us from harm;

The power is ours to work and share

Our mother's plenty is everywhere!

There's plenty to say, plenty to sing,

Plenty to dance, and dare to do;

Plenty to weave, plenty to unwind,

Plenty for me and you!

There's plenty of work, plenty of play,

Plenty of rest when day is done;

Plenty of corn in the Maiden's hands.

Enjoying the Feast of the First Fruits

Wine is from the fruit of the season. It is a symbol of the earth's abundance, and represents all the elements of summer and fall, the elements that mature the grapes and grain. This is a time of turning inward toward the darkness, of inner and individual work, a time of maturing and aging, of experience, growing wisdom, fulfillments past and to come.

The First Harvest is a time for change. The transformation of grapes into wine, or grain into baked bread, of summer into winter, the Mother into Crone, of life into death and back again.

"She changes everything she touches, and everything she touches changes."

Great Goddess of Mother Earth, Goddess of the Harvest, accept my thanks for my growth, insights, accomplishments, and the food you have given me.

Drink from the chalice. Offer a toast to the coming harvest and give thanks to the Goddess. Bless the food and enjoy the feast. Set a portion of food is set aside for the Goddess and leave the rest of the food and drink out for the wildlife.

Closing the Circle

Element of the North, Ancient Spirit of Earth, your harvest will sustain me. Thank you for joining me today. Hail and farewell.

Element of the West, Ancient Spirit of Water, your rains are gentle on the harvest. Thank you for joining me today. Hail and farewell.

Element of South, Ancient Spirit of Fire, the warmth of the sun has helped in the prosperous harvest. Thank you for joining me today. Hail and farewell.

Element of the East, Ancient Spirit of Air, your warm breeze has helped cool the heat of the summer sun. Thank you for joining me today. Hail and farewell.

O Great Goddess, the bounty of your harvest has provided for me. Thank you for joining me today. Hail and farewell.

The Circle is opened by never unbroken.

Blessed Be.

Sticks and Stones by Angie Skelhorn

Author and ceremonialist Maria Naakai Ts'ilsoose Yraceburu (Quero Apache) life's story gave me the courage to step forward. Well, that and my mom has always said the truth can't hurt you. The author's beliefs are equal to mine. We believe we are responsible for the choices we make for ourselves and we have a responsibility to the future.

My past personal choices led me to become associated with the Outlaw Motorcycle gang and an addiction to cocaine and painkillers. I sold and abused the powerful chemicals. I was known to use more brawn than brains. Yeah, little old me.

There came a time when my Spirit couldn't live in my own skin. A few times my Spirit nearly escaped. I've slipped into my old ways more times than I care to remember. I was lucky I was never arrested. My darkest moments brought me to the light.

Not so long ago I was rudely reminded of who I used to be. I truly appreciate my true friends who jumped to my defense, but some of things I have chosen to do will always stick to me. The person stood superior as he loosely excused me of still using my drugs of choice. My response was quick, "Why would I want to go backwards and surround myself with incompatible friends and a non-supportive partner."

I'm sure the intent of the accusation was to hurt me or put me in my place. Whatever the reason, the remark reminded me how far I've come. It wasn't easy for me to become the person I am today. My past is a part of me, not all of me. My mistakes don't define me. My experiences good or bad helped me discover my own heart. I can't change what I've done. I can only choose how to react; either improve or change myself for better or worse. I refuse to go back to my old defeatist ways and lose sight of what is important to me.

My present is a product of my past and my future is an effect of my present.

No one has the right to judge another, but people will say what they will. Everyone has opinions about who you are, and what you should be doing. When judgments are made, people hear you say that you are above or better.

I am always right - self righteousness

My friends are always right - blind opinion

My values are better than yours -judgmental

I can tell you every detail why I am right - discrimination

I have matured throughout the process of dealing with my personal choices. I can't control what people decide to say to me or about me. I can only choose the value of their words.

Sticks and stones can break my bones

Words can break my heart or make me stronger

There will always be someone waiting to knock you down when you are trying to stand up straight. We all do things we are not proud of; growth is when you don't do them any more.

Freedom from judgment - to experience liberation

May I suggest you break free from the crowd. Fly solo, harm none intentionally, and become that which you want to attract.

If you too feel you are being judged harshly, wipe the slate clean and start again. Plunge head and heart into the unknown. During this journey you may find like-minded people, who will accept you for who you have become. I know I have.

Angie Skelhorn's website- http://witchskel.weebly.com

Sweat Lodge by MarVeena Meek

Dark, Moist, Mother’s Womb.

The Fire stones burn cedar, sweet grass.

Smokey, steamy, primordial place

Birthplace of the Mother.

I was born again today.

I went in on my hands and knees,

bowing reverence to many things.

I came out on my hands and knees.

This time a newborn infant seeing the world for the first time.

 

I have seen spirals in the days, months and years.

Today I remembered that there are spirals in the womb,

I felt all the many children throughout time I have given birth to.

I felt all my many mothers holding me safe and warm in their

wombs throughout time.

 

I turned somersaults in my mama’s womb,

Dancing and singing and praying to be born

In a good way.

Today I sat with my sisters,

My elders,

My teachers.

Women of Power!

Let us be born in a New World,

A good world, a

 World of love and beauty.

Ho

Beth Moscov wrote this poem for her sisters in March 1993, after a women’s only sweat lodge ceremony on the spring equinox.

MarVeena’s first sweat lodge!

It was around this time that I had my first sweat lodge experience. Since my near death experience I had a hunger to really get out into the universe and see more. I wanted to have a better understanding of my place in the big picture. My meditations were good. I just had a sense that they could be a lot better. I had heard a sweat lodge was a very powerful meditation like experience.

The first time I went in it was in January and very cold, like 35 degrees. One of my friends had been going to these sweats for a while and was telling me how neat it was, so I got my courage up which took a whole year and decided to go. We arranged to meet in Dallas and travel up to the lodge in Denton together, which is about an hour’s drive.

The day of the ceremony my friend calls me and tells me she is sick and can’t go. I was crushed, I had been looking forward to it for a while and had my courage built up and they only had them once a month. So I decided to go on my own.

She told me all the stuff to take. A robe, two large towels, one small one for your hair after you get out, some food for the feast. And heart gifts for the Dance Chief and the Fire keeper. I drive up there and find the place, which was a warrior task to start with for me. When I walk in to the Ashram there is a beautiful fragrance of sweet grass and sage. A woman shows me how to make prayer ties and what colors go with what type of prayers. Lots of very eclectic folks are coming and going.

Right at sundown we get ready to go out and light the fire. The fire and the stones are very ceremonially set up. Each rock is set into the fire pit with a prayer of thanksgiving for its contribution and intent. We gathered in a circle and the Dance Chief introduced himself to us and he introduced the Fire Keeper and Rock Runner. We then held hands and the Fire Keeper started lighting the fire. We sang to the fire spirits to come into our space.

The Dance Chief drummed and we danced in a circle around the fire and him singing to the fire spirits. After the fire was going fairly well we stopped singing and did an invocation to the four sacred directions and elements and to Sky Father and Earth Mother.

Then we all went inside the dojo except the Fire Keeper and Rock Runners, they watched the fire until she burned completely out. We went into the Dojo and gathered in a circle while Ra, the Dance Chief, started to talk about the ceremony. This took a long time, but was very informational.

We needed at least an hour and a half for the rocks to get hot enough. We could make more prayer ties while listening to the talk. He asked a lot of questions some were very personal. He asked if there were any moontime women. He explained that he is an apprentice Moon Chief and that moontime women were honored in this lodge.

Some lodges don’t let moontime women in. Something about their energies being too wacky for the rest of the gang. He explained that the moontime women could request a certain place to sit if they like, he suggested the south the place of waters and emotions; a place where energy could flow. He told us that we could take in a personal water bottle, but recommended we didn’t because water makes you expand and feel hotter. I took one in anyway. It was my pacifier.

He told us ways of connecting to Mama Earth and grounding into her and pulling from her strength. He said it is good to keep your prayers short and sweet. (When you are in there and its 140 degrees you really appreciate the short prayers). The first thing to do is to introduce yourself to spirit. You say something like this “Great Spirit it is your little One Bright Star and I send my voice. I pray for…”When you have finished you say, “I have spoken, Aho.”

Then the Dance Chief pours water on the rocks which creates steam that grabs your prayers and takes them to spirit where they can be heard.

Remember everyone in spirit is witnessing your prayers, your spiritual relations since always and for always, your master guides and angels, your family in spirit. Ra said it is important that our prayers come from the heart and we don’t over load our bobo with our mouths.

The purification lodge or sweat lodge represents the womb of the Goddess or The Great Mother.  Before we go in the lodge we take off our clothes and all of our identity like our jewelry, clothes, and watches etc… I didn’t feel comfortable taking off my clothes. I remember standing out side the lodge waiting to go in. Here it is January, I am naked outside, barefoot thinking my God I’m a crazy woman! And it didn’t really help matters when the Dance Chief blessed me; the last thing he called in was my ancestors to witness the ceremony.

I’m thinking great now grandma will know I’m naked in front of God and everyone. She’s probably rolling in her grave. Oh well I know my heart is in the right place and I have good intent. I am going to have a spiritual experience in my life if it kills me. Of course being naked outside in January could do that. The blessing at the door of the lodge is very beautiful.

The Dance Chief greets you and blesses you with a huge Eagle Fan. First he touches the ground, to connect with the earth spirit, then he touches the little sacred tree and grabs some spirit in the air and invokes our spiritual relations to come and witness out ceremony. He calls the Touliquay, who are the little people. The Tougashala are all our relations and the Toushilahey are all our awakened selves. They represent our ancestors who have danced in the light in other life times. He taps them into our body with the fan. The presence of our ancestors is important because we have a lot of karma with them. By them witnessing our vows, and giveaways in the lodge and hear our prayers, they can gauge our growth & spiritual maturity.

You can wear a towel or T-shirt and shorts if you wish, but it is better to leave your entire personality at the door. Your subconscious is hard to fool. You cannot create change with out the help of your subconscious. That’s who we want to be transformed by this. So we want to really make the subconscious self think she is back at the beginning. You are going in to be rebirthed and you know that the first time you were born you didn’t come out of the womb fully dressed and accessorized.

The alchemy in the lodge is meticulously set up to have a balanced mini universe in there. All the things that you used to project into this incarnation in the first place are there. You have earth (the lodge herself), with fire (hot rocks) and water (which is poured on the rocks) creates air (steam) that carries your prayers to spirit. The combination of the five elements is the perfect birthing vehicle.

You enter the lodge by crawling in on your knees; this is to show honor and respect for the mother. You touch your head to the ground just before you go in and say a short prayer or intention, like “Omitakewasin” or “For All My Relations.” The idea is I am birthing myself anew in Honor of all my Relations since always and for always.

The lodge is very dark and sometimes there will be singing as the other people are blessed and come in. I loved this part of the ceremony; the quiet singing fit the mood and eased our transition into an altered state.

This is a good time to gather your thoughts about what you what to release or give away, and what you want to pray for, or whom you want to pray for. I had a hard time figuring out what I wanted to pray for. It is good to do this ahead of time and have your prayers short and to the point. When the lodge starts to heat up, and the ceremony starts you tend to get into an altered state and it is hard to think then.

The first thing to do is have the Fire Chief bring in hot rocks, usually twenty to start with. Each rock that comes in the lodge is blessed with scared herbs, and dedicated to a part of the invocation and an element or energy. The aroma of sweet grass and herbs is so beautiful; it almost brought tears to my eyes. Well that could have been the smoke, but I loved that wafting of the herbs. It sends me!

The invocation that he used is called the Twenty Count, and this invocation brings in to the lodge twenty aspects of our most Holy Creator/Creatress. Typically there are four rounds of prayers in a lodge though not all traditions follow this.

The first prayer to go round is where you pray for yourself, what kind of support or confirmation do you need from spirit to move to higher levels. I prayed for some confirmation from Spirit that I was on my soul’s path. You can ask for anything. Usually when you ask for something from Spirit you need to be prepared to pay for it some way that is proportional to what you are asking for energy wise. You don’t get something for nothing anywhere.

You want to give full value back to the universe for what they are giving you. For instance, you ask to be a channel then the universe will want you to do some giveaways of your time and channel for people who are seeking and needing guidance. By the time we had gone about five people around I started getting really Hot, I was sweating out of places that I didn’t know would even sweat. That felt good for a bit, then I felt like I couldn’t breathe and a little claustrophobic. That was a little unsettling.

The Dance Chief kept saying to us breathe, breathe from the stomach. Stay focused on the prayers, your mind can’t think about two things at once so think about your prayers and everyone’s else’s. If you hear a prayer that could fit your life, make a heart sound like “umm” or “Aho” and send that prayer to spirit for you too. The Dance Chief starts the round and then each participant prays out loud in a clockwise direction around the lodge. After each prayer the person says, “I have spoken, Aho” and the Dance Chief pours water on the hot rocks and the steam quickly carries the prayers to the Sacred Spirits we called in with the Twenty Count.

The second round is where we pray for others. Again the Dance Chief starts the round and prays for the collective others. We pray for our family, friends, loved ones in the physical and in spirit. If we choose to we can pray for loved ones in spirit.

The third round is the give away round. Think back to what you asked for in the first round and consider what quality or character trait you have to release or transform before you can be in vibrational harmony with what you desire. For instance I prayed to be a clear channel for spirit in the first round. In the give away round I gave away my own self-doubt. By this round I was wondering if I could live through it. I kind of wanted to leave the lodge but was too scared to ask and too stubborn.

The top of my head and my kneecaps felt like they were smoking. I leaned over and got as close to the earth as possible. That was a cool spot comparatively. Mother Earth has never meant so much as when she let me breathe through her. I think I have always appreciated Mother Earth, but we really bonded that night.

It was kind of hard to focus at this point on my prayers or anyone else’s. Some people prayed very long prayers. I wanted to smack them. I know that’s not a real spiritual thing to think, but that was then and how I felt. The Dance Chief advises everyone to stay on purpose, focused and to the point. No rambling please in the heat.

Some people were crying, some in very deep process. All through this I could see spirit swirling and spiraling around us, I saw visions of animals coming in and ancestors, I saw the grandfathers especially working with the Dance Chief, and I saw the grandmothers. I saw lights and sparkles that typically accompany the higher vibrational beings, the Masters. Enough to keep me interested.

We finally get to the last round; I’m dizzy wondering if I can make it. The last round we start to thank the Twenty, we do the Twenty Count over thanking each aspect and quality we had brought in earlier. The Dance Chief would say something like this “Wado to Grandfather Sun,” and the group would repeat “Wado” thank you) Grandfather Sun, Wado Grandmother Earth etc…” Then we thank Spirit and start to crawl out. Remember it is 35 degrees, winter misty raining. I step out of the lodge, on very wobbly knees.

Cold air never felt so good in my life. I am directed to a place by the lodge to lay my towel on the ground and I then lay down on the towel and am told to ground down into the earth. This was actually one of the coolest parts of the whole thing. I am so hot that I don’t even notice the cold air.

I laid on the earth and would breathe with her, sending my fibers deep in to the core. I felt myself going out of body spinning off the earth uh oh! What is a girl to do when you fall off the earth? This scared the snot out of me. I am not sure if I astral projected or just got spun out of body. I don’t know but it was cool and scary at the same time.

I finally got back in my body and was cooled off enough to get up, about ten to fifteen minutes. Everybody else was lying on the ground too. Everybody ignored one another and sort of pulled themselves back together again. No one made me feel self conscious about being naked. I didn’t feel like anyone stared or was inappropriate in any way which I was grateful for.

After this we would offer our prayer ties to the fire and go back in to the dojo for the feast. Cool beans! I made it! I didn’t die the big death, just a little one. I know it sounds like a wacky way to spend a Saturday night but I would not trade the experience for anything. Ra still does purification ceremonies in Denton, TX on the second Saturday night each month. You can stop by and participate if you are in the Dallas area.

Awanestika!

MarVeena Vision Seeker apprentice to Silver Ra Baker

Copy right © MarVeena Meek May 11, 2009

To read more about the path read the “Song of the Deer” by Thunder Strikes with Jan Orsi

TRUTH by Angie Skelhorn

Each Person Is An Individual,

Separate,

Yet Part Of The Whole,

Your Body Your Temple,

Your Skull Houses Your Brain,

Your Mind Your Truth,

You Decide Your Actions,

For One,

For The Good Of The All,

So Many Choices,

Correct With One,

Despised By Another,

You Create Law,

Government Of Self,

You Are The Product Of Your Truth,

Patterns Of Nature,

Cycles Of Seasons,

Raising Of The Moon,

Setting Of The Sun,

Natural Philosophy,

The Way Of The Beast,

Twinkle Of The Stars,

Nature's Law,

Shades Of Gray,

The Mysterious Ones,

Who Dwell In The Great Beyond,

Creation No Guarantee.

Angie Skelhorn's website- http://witchskel.weebly.com

Wising Woman by Alexis Umowski

(c) Alexis Umowski 2009

A piece pertaining to transitions and the onset of menopause; the woman figure of the piece transits into a deeper self while still part of the whole...The darkness even alludes to the end of her cyclical bleeding. And yet there is still a new sort of creation brewing in the darker half. Her vision transforms in her period of transition, which is why her eyes are obscured by some dynamic dark beams--a new lens to life with newly gained wisdom that was previously unobtainable before.

Web site of Alexis Umowski   http://AlexisUmowski.TK