A Sacred Yoni Blessing by Bendis

Woman is the creator of the universe,

the universe is her form;

woman is the foundation of the world,

she is the true form of the body.

Whatever form she takes,

whether the form of a woman or man,

In woman is the form of all things,

of all that lives and moves in the world.

There is no jewel rarer that woman,

no condition superior to that of a woman.

There is not, nor has been, nor will be

any destiny to equal that of a woman.

there is not, nor has been, nor will be

any holy place like unto a woman.

There is no prayer to equal a woman.

There are not, nor has been, nor will be

any riches more valuable than woman.

Saktisangama Tantra (edited)

 

The desire aroused by seeing the Yoni never dies.

The yoni is named the mysterious female,

and the doorway of the mysterious female

is the base from which heaven and earth sprang,

It is there with us all the while.

Draw upon it as you will, it never runs dry.

(Ma-wang Tui texts of the I-Ching edited)

Her lap is the holy altar, her hair, the sacred grass; the lips of her Yoni are the fire in the middle. (From Brhad Aranyika Upanishad)

"Imagine that your body is in the form of the Wisdom Goddess, naked, and with hair flowing. Imagine yourself as her, in the center of an emergence of light, holding an elixir bowl close to her heart with garlands of red flowers.

Think to yourself that the Goddess enters you through your open yoni and resides in your heart.

Then imagine the Wisdom Goddess above the crown of your head, having just shared in the act of love. She is naked, with disheveled hair, and her yoni is moist and overflowing with sexual secretions.

Her eyes are filled with erotic emotion and look toward the vast expanse of sky, which as she begins to dance, becomes filled with similar forms of herself."

(Black Hat sect, a branch of the Karma Kagyu edited)

She hands you a small symbol (a cowry shell). She places it in your hand.

It is lovely. You look closely and behold a symbol of your sacred Yoni – the divine symbol of woman – the Holy Altar of Life.

This symbol is your gift – may it always remind you of your power as woman. May it always be for you, a symbol of the sacredness of life.

 

Let us all now bless and consecrate our symbols of divine love.

Take your yoni symbol in your hand, touch it to your third eye and say these words…

I bless and consecrate this Yoni with the gift of my all seeing eye – with my wisdom vision that I may see clearly and share myself fully when I chose.

Now, place the Yoni close to your heart and say these words …

I bless this yoni with the gift of my love, may I be open to love in all my life.

Now place the yoni at the solar plexus and say these words.

I share the power of my will so that I may be empowered with strength of purpose.

Finally, place the Yoni symbol close to your own Yoni, your own sacred Altar and say these words …

This is my powerful center of creation, my own life giving force.  This is my holy sacred Altar! When I choose to share of this energy, it is a gift given freely - never taken but given in love.

May the power of creation bless and consecrate this symbol for holy use, as I freely choose.

So Mote It Be!

Ask Your Mama by Mama Donna Henes

Are you cyclically confused? In a ceremonial quandary? Completely clueless? Wonder no more.

 

                                *Ask Your Mama™                         

 

The What, When, Where, Why, How, and Who of

Ceremony & Spirituality

by

©Mama Donna Henes, Urban Shaman

 

A Question of Mental, Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Sex

Dear Mama Donna,

I am a woman in my middle years and the excitement and sizzle of sex seems to have been turned off at the spigot. I am always comparing myself with the hot younger me who I seem to have lost. Is this the end of passion for me? Help! I want it back!

Frustrated in Phoenix

Dear Frustrated,

Oh, honey, this is absolutely not the end of your sex life. Don’t despair. And whatever you do, don’t stop. Regular sex, according to medical research, has the same benefits as regular exercise. It increases the flow of certain chemicals that naturally boost and strengthen the immune system, improves cholesterol levels, stimulates circulation, invigorates the heart, diminishes the intensity of pain especially in migraines and chronic arthritis, reduces PMS symptoms, and releases endorphins which simply make you feel good.

Here are some suggestions for getting the sizzle back:

 

Mental Sex

Mind your memories, good and bad. Do not dwell in the past. Do not look back in time in order to yearn for more youthful days or compare yourself today with who you used to be. And do not let past pain, rejection, repression, or abuse deprive you of your present pleasures. Deal with what you want to change so that you can Be Here Now.

Mind your manners. Be nice. Be kind. Be patient. Be encouraging, but be sure to ask for what you want. Be willing to communicate with an open ear as well as with an open mouth. Be clear and specific. Be gentle, but firm. Speak your truth and expect to be heard. Share your desires and fantasies and play them out. Show and tell.    

Mind your P’s and Q’s. P stands for permission. Allow yourself to follow your instincts and your desires and give yourself the unconditional permission to do what comes naturally, whatever that might mean to you. Q is for the Queen in you who knows what She knows She likes. And She likes to get it.

 

Emotional Sex

Explore the full range of your sexual emotions. What feelings does sex engender in you? What needs do you want it to fill? Does it? Is sex an outlet for the release of stress, of anger, frustration, or boredom? Is it an avenue to tenderness, affection, closeness, intimacy, honesty, safety, openness, trust, and love? 

Express your true emotional Self in all its myriad moods. Allow your funny, silly, lazy, sad, colorful, soulful, sinful parts out to play. Be adventurous. Be bold. Be brazen. Be wild. Be inventive. Be silent. Be solo. Be celibate. Be whatever you damn well please.

Exorcise your demons. Relax your resistance. Release your inhibitions. Let go of your mind altogether. Forget your emotions and all of your mental ramblings for a while, and just let yourself be. There are times when it is important to reflect upon and connect with your thoughts and feelings, and there are times when it's just as beneficial to disengage. Sex would be one.

 

Physical Sex

Make friends with your body. The more accepting you are of your physical being — your best features as well as your flaws — the more comfortable you will be sharing it. Develop your sense of touch. Cover the surface of your body with paint, with clay, with cream, with silk. Caress the textures. Feel the tactile sensations on your skin. Treat yourself to a massage, a manicure, or a facial. Pat, stroke, rub, knead your skin and hair. Offer to massage someone. Ask someone to do it for you. 

Treat your body well. Feed it wisely, air it often, water and exercise it with intention and care. Pay attention to its proper maintenance and upkeep. Keep it oiled and greased and limber, and don’t let it get rusty. Nurture its need to be nurtured. Tend to its requirements and pamper all of its parts. Prepare your body for sex. Soak in a warm tub full of fragrant water to melt into the mood. Rub luscious lotion all over yourself, caressing each mound and crevice and curve with love and anticipation.

Spiritual Sex.

Create a sexual sanctuary, a safe and sacred space, a Temple of Love in which to indulge in your pleasures. Remove all distracting items that relate to the other parts of your life: notebooks, briefcases, pagers, bills, calendars. Turn the phones off, including the cell at the bottom of your purse. Cover the clocks. Close the bathroom door. Smudge your space with the smoke of myrrh or copal to cleanse the atmosphere and with the smoke of sweetgrass to invite in the sweet spirits.

Create a mood conducive to enchantment, enticement, and enjoyment. This is the royal boudoir, after all. A Garden of 1001 Delights. Decorate it in such a way as to appeal to all of the senses. Sheets and covers in soft fabrics, chenille, flannel, satin, to lie upon. Candles, soft lights, colored walls, flowers, and objets of art to please the gaze. Evocative perfumes, oils, and incense to smell. Lovely treats to taste.

Create a ritual before you make love. Think of sex as a way to connect, alone or in company, with the vibrating Kundalini energy that courses through you and the entire universe. Sanctify and ignite your intention by lighting a candle, saying a prayer, or by singing, chanting, drumming, dancing, anointing. Reach out to engage your Self, another, and All That Is, in an ecstatic embrace of spirit, passion, and love.

A new take-charge attitude can be just the catalyst needed to refuel the lethargic passion of our long-term marriage or partnership, or it could send us out in other, sometimes completely unexpected, directions. We could decide to take a lover, or a different lover, or an additional lover. If we have long been single, we might decide to begin dating and establishing relationships. We might, as is becoming more and more common, liberate our previously hidden, unfulfilled yearnings and “come out” as a lesbian in midlife. Or, if we have always been sexually active, involved and/or coupled, we could choose a period of celibacy, Self-exploration, Self-indulgence, and Self-love. The world is your oyster. Pick and choose according to your own persuasion and then partake!

Enjoy!

xxMama Donna

*Are you cyclically confused? In a ceremonial quandary? Completely clueless? Wonder no more. *Send your questions about seasons, cycles, celebrations, ceremonies and spirit to Mama Donna at: CityShaman@aol.com

*****************************************************

Donna Henes is an internationally renowned urban shaman,

eco-ceremonialist, award-winning author, syndicated columnist,

popular speaker and workshop leader whose joyful celebrations

of celestial events have introduced ancient traditional rituals and

contemporary ceremonies to millions of people in more than

100 cities since 1972. In addition to her popular public rituals for

equinoxes and solstices, she is the official Grand Spirit Marshall

of the world famous Greenwich Village Halloween Parade and the

Mistress of Blessing Ceremonies for NYC Earth Day Festivities.

She has published four books, a CD, an acclaimed quarterly

journal and writes a column for UPI (United Press International)

Religion and Spirituality Forum. Mama Donna, as she is

affectionately called, maintains a ceremonial center, spirit shop,

ritual practice and consultancy in Exotic Brooklyn, NY where she

works with individuals, groups, institutions, municipalities and

corporations to create meaningful ceremonies for every

imaginable occasion.

For information about upcoming events and services contact:

Mama Donna's Tea Garden & Healing Haven

PO Box 380403 

Exotic Brooklyn, New York, NY 11238-0403

Phone: 718/857-1343

Email: CityShaman@aol.com

www.DonnaHenes.net

www.MamaDonnasSpiritShop.com/

www.TheQueenofMySelf.com

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donna_Henes

http://youtube.com/watch?v=yAR-aIiQ_xE

Read her blog at:

http://www.myspace.com/queenmamadonna 

http://queenmamadonna.blogspot.com 

http://mamadonnahenes.gaia.com/

Be-ing In Your Embrace by Bendis

I feel your breath on my skin like the gentle wind blowing in my face as I open the window to my garden in the morning.  I breathe your air, feeling it enter me, and it becomes our breath, our clean, sweet air - shared with all that is.

Dew-fresh, I am called to gaze upon your beauty. I touch your sweet petals; they unfold, soft as velvet to my touch. I am renewed with your awakening.

You surround me in vibrant color with red, yellow, purple, and blue wildflowers dancing at my feet.  Sweet and pungent, your scent drifts toward me, warming me, reminding me of loves I have known.  Memories of passion, each embrace a sacred moment with you.

My own heat rises, your sunlight streaming upon me.  With your energy pulsing through me I am transformed.  Even as I recall what is no more, what was taken from me, I think of lost love and passion stirs in me still. At once, I am lifted, seeking and yearning for embrace.  My heart, beating to your rhythm, I am reminded of the joy in life.

Your Holy Waters bring forth life. Sweet gentle stream, I lay beside you in such pleasure. I dream of loss, renewal, and then, hope.  I feel the life force of my womb, which once brought forth life. I recognize your flow in my blood, my woman's blood, now but a memory in this crone's body, strong and sure.

Suddenly I am in all waters, first riding the wave of the ocean, reveling in the speed of my body moving with the wave, then in a cascading waterfall, which showers me in newness.  I feel fresh and clean!

I shall lie on the ground and feel you, Mother.  Your cool, damp soil runs through my fingers, and I feel the moistness of your body.  I am grounded, held close in your embrace.  The grass nestles me in softness and I am strengthened by the simplicity of your care. I am healed by your love, Mother.

Seeking to pull the warmth of your golden rays to me, I reach for you in the sky and feel your heat like that of a lover, quickening my pulse.  My Yoni longs for surrender.

Earth and Water, Wind and Fire, you surround me all my days.  All that my eyes gaze upon is of you, within me and without.

Creatrix, Mother of All Life, I thank you for this experience of being in your embrace.

Book Review: When Women Were Warriors – Book I by Catherine M Wilson

Book Review by Dawn "Belladonna" Thomas

Publisher: Shield Maiden Press (October 1, 2008)

ISBN: 9780981563619
In-Print Editions:
Trade Paperback $14.95
Kindle e-book $0.99
Adobe eBook $9.99

This is a fictional story of an old custom when a daughter turns sixteen she leaves her mother’s family and goes to another woman to be a companion or an apprentice to a warrior. This tradition is based on an old story of a queen’s daughter. The daughter was out hunting close to the edge of the forest near the borders. The son of the neighboring queen was also hunting the same deer and accidently killed the queen’s daughter with his spear. When the queen was finished grieving she dressed for battle. As she was preparing to leave a young women arrived unarmed. She stated that she was to replace the daughter that the queen lost and so starts the tradition.

The main character in the story is Tamras. She is the daughter of Tamnet, a friend of Lady Merin. In keeping with tradition, when Tamras turns sixteen her mother takes her to Lady Merin’s house. She is slight and not big enough to be a warrior. She becomes a companion to Maara. No one knows much of Maara since she comes from a distant land. She has dark hair and eyes and is so different from the others in the house that are fair. When her warrior is injured in battle, Tamras disobeys the healer and prepares different herbs to aid the fallen warrior. Because of this her warrior does not die and she begins a relationship of trust. After a sign of strength and trust she becomes an apprentice.

There are folklore type stories within the book: Two Sisters, The Queen’s Mirror, and Giant’s Bones. This is a story of love between women. Tamras is young and did not have any sexual experience before coming to Lady Merin’s house. She learns what it feels like to be loved and touched by a woman.

For a limited time you can read Book I online – Click here to begin reading: http://www.shieldmaidenpress.com/Book_I_Chapters/Chapter1.html

You can also download a free e-book of Book I in .prc (Kindle or mobipocket), .pdf, or ePub format from the author’s website: www.catherine-m-wilson.com

Book Review: Who Do You Think You Are?: A Memoir by Alyse Myers

Book Review by Dawn “Belladonna” Thomas

Touchstone, May 2008

ISBN-10: 1416543058

ISBN-13: 9781416543053

I was flipping channels on the television and heard a promo commercial for this book. I was intrigued with the premise since I do not have a relationship with my mother. The interview with the author only took about ten minutes and I was hooked. Listening to her talk about her childhood and growing up in New York City with a domineering mother immediately hit me hard. I was sitting on the couch listening to her talk and found myself with tears in my eyes. It was so wonderful to hear someone say that it was okay not to love your mother.  I haven’t had a relationship with my mother in over fifteen years and there are times when I feel disapproval from others when I mention it.

In this book we hear how the author grew up with two parents that fought often and loud. She even references that she heard a neighbor talking about the screamers and knew realized they were talking about her parents. She is the oldest of three girls – all very close in age. She looses her father at age eleven. She spent the majority of her adolescence working several jobs and commuting to high school. She was saving as much money as she could so that she could afford to go to college. There are many times when the arguments between mother and daughter were so great and on several occasions the author was forced out of her home.

Reading this book was a type of validation to me. It showed me that you don’t have to follow tradition. Your feelings are your own and no one can take that away from you. I recommend this book to anyone that may have had a difficult relationship with your mother.

Celtic Astrology for Litha by Carmen Reyes

If you were born June 10 – July 7

Your Tree Sign is

Oak

Quercus

Botanical Information

Quercus alba, the White Oak can be found in southern Quebec, New England, Minnesota and from Florida to Texas. There are about 450 species of oak with varying shapes and sizes and most of them can be found in America. Not all oaks are deciduous, Quercus coccifera, the Kermes Oak is a prickly evergreen and the Holm Oak has thorny leaves that are similar to the holly. Holm is an old country name for holly. Oak are members of the Beech family (Fagaceae).

The oak is one of the last trees to leaf out, others trees have flowered while the slow steady oak is just beginning to put on leaves. The fruit of the oak, the acorn, was a staple food of the American Indians). The word acorn is derived from Æcern in Old English, which comes from acer, a field.

Tree Name

Quercus robur is the name of the common oak, robur is the root of the English word “robust”. The Ogham name for the oak is Duir which is a Sanskrit word. Duir means oak and also means door, a doorway or an entryway into the otherworld.

Tree Goddess

Brighid is the Celtic Goddess of Inspiration, Keeper of the Flame, her name in Gaelic means fire tipped. Her sacred well is found at Kildare which means “church of the oak”.

Cardea is the Goddess of the Hinge of the year; she is a Roman Goddess of thresholds and especially doors. Her power is to “Open what is shut, and shut what is open”.

 Tree Attributes

The Oak symbolizes health, strength and endurance, and displays these qualities in the long life and tremendous size of some species. It is said that the oak, "courts the lightning flash" as lightening is supposed to strike the oak more than any other tree. Because of this the oak is given the name, "lightning oak." Oak trees have always been regarded as great protectors, guardians of the virtuous and often the guardian tree of a family.
The need fire is kindled in an oak and the Midsummer fires are of oak. At the Summer Solstice, the oak stands at the doorway of the turning of the year, as the sun reaches it height and begins a cycle of decline.

Tree Craft

The acorn is said to be a powerful symbol for good health and prosperity. Keep one in your pocket as a charm for robust health.

Tree Personality

The oak is an optimistic, energetic personality, a leader and a risk taker. They are grounded and have firm boundaries. For the oak personality, the glass is always full, they have strong nurturing powers and an inner resilience.

Tree Essence

The Bach Flower essence imparts sturdiness, great strength and courage. It is for those who are exhausted but struggle on, never giving up.

Tree Message

The Lady of the Doorway, “Duir is a gateway to inner realms, a sign that reveals the truth about the past layers of action”. 1

Tree Affirmation

“I have strength”

Bibliography

Clark, Curtis. Natural history of the trees of the Celtic Ogham. Circle Network News 17(2):12-13 (Issue 56, Summer 1995).

Dugan, Ellen. Herb Magic for Beginners: Down to Earth Enchantments, Woodbury, Minnesota: Llewellyn Publications, 2008

Fergus, Charles. Trees of New England. Guilford, Connecticut: The Globe Pequot Press, 2005.

Glass- Koentop, Pattalee. Year of Moons Season of Trees. St. Paul, Minnesota: Llewellyn Publications, 1991.

Graham, Mark and Heather Buchan. The Celtic Tree Ogham. Milverton, Somerset: Capall Bann, 2006.

Hagender, Fred. The Meaning of Trees. San Francisco, CA : Chronicle Books LLC, 2005.

Kerr, Linda. The Hazel Nut. Auburn, AL, Faerie Faith Tradition, 1993

Kindred, Glennie. The Oak Tree, King of the Greenwood, The White Dragon, 1988

Laurie, Erynn Rowan. Ogham Weaving Word Wisdom. Stafford, UK: Megalithica Books, 2007.

Moorey, Teresa. The Magic and Mystery of the Trees. Milverton, Somerset: Capall Bann, 2006.

 

Paterson, Helena. The Handbook of Celtic Astrology. St. Paul, Minnesota: Llewellyn Press, 1995.

Quarrie, Deanne. From the Branch a Primer in Dianic Witchcraft. Rockmart, Georgia: The Apple Branch Press, 2008.

Footnote

1.  From the Branch: A Primer in Dianic Witchcraft, page 195

Faithful Oppressions By Alexis Umowski

Faithful Oppressions

Some Observations of Female Sexuality

 

By Alexis Umowski

 

Before the rise of the first male-oriented monotheistic religion, Europe was likely ruled by a matriarchal religion that was peaceful and loving of the creative and spiritual arts. Women, perhaps, were the key to all the mysteries of the universe, but men provided a necessary balance with their vigorous nature. But in a series of acts against the Great Mother, different sets of Indo-European invaders over time who were greedy and war-hungry decided to exorcize the Goddess under their new regimes; under new reign there would naturally be new religion. The transition, for the most part, was a gradual one based on a growing desire for recognition, but each generation of leaders and conquerors followed suit, gaining more power, and then male superiority.  Many shifts in human consciousness can be attributed to this. As the first innovative invaders introduced their patriarchal culture on the conquered peoples, myths about brave warriors killing serpents, a symbol of goddess-worship and female sexuality, started to appear widely. Once the equality of the sexes became imbalanced, it became even easier to further the difference between the sexes as time passed, however unintentional it might have been. Before successfully "conquering" the Goddess, she was broken into lesser deities dependent on greater gods.  The usurping of the throne of the Great Goddess was supposedly finally accomplished later by the Hebrew, Christian, and Muslim religions (and all male-based monotheisms) that followed the first desires for masculine superiority. One God outweighed all the alleged “seductresses” that were left-over fragments of the past.  As female goddesses faded into the background, women in society followed suit, their sexual and mystical natures suppressed. Male-dominated, monotheistic religions have had a profound, harmful effect on women's lives up to and including the present day because of this shift in balance.  It is important to note that no one group, god, or sex is responsible for these negative occurrences that can only be attributed to our loss of the Goddess--the psychological effects and responsive actions have been devastating. Although men have also suffered her loss, I believe women have suffered more heavily. The injustices that women continue to suffer may have started within the “sacred institution” of new religion, but they have infiltrated all aspects of life on Earth.  Once the Earth Mother was forgotten, and we no longer had her guidance, the reign of reckless exploitation of all things feminine began in the development of modern civilization.

 

The first injustice to befall upon women is in losing their place in religion. Whereas women give birth to men, the story of Adam and Eve intends to prove the opposite.  Women are supposedly made from men, by Adam’s rib.  Christianity also re-labels the all-powerful Mother Goddess as a woman chosen by God to bare his son.  The Virgin Mary is given no choice, but expected to be the oven for holding God’s son. And, as an underlying principle, all men are considered the sons of God, and thus all women must be the ovens for their husbands’ seed. By this logic, women exist only to produce more men, as with some Islamic communities (where women are often blamed or beaten for birthing a daughter instead of a son).  It is for this reason that the Catholic Church seeks to prevent effective contraception.  Their policy of banning abortion also rapes a woman of her rights to her own body. The Vatican and Evangelical Christianity also put much pressure on the United Nations, preventing funding for health and population control programs in developing countries that have abortion and contraception clinics. Catholicism also opposes the availability of objective information on sexual activity, contraceptive methods, and pregnancy counseling because it threatens man’s purpose to be plentiful for God. Ironically, they argue that by keeping women in the dark about their other options, that they are doing the right thing. They believe the threat of pregnancy alone should deter women from unprotected sexual intercourse. Counseling is also considered a threat because it makes all choices, including abortion, acceptable. Catholicism is at the forefront of a continuing battle against women's rights to choose early safe termination of unwanted pregnancies, even if the woman had been raped. In total, millions of women have died world-wide from late/septic abortions, self-performed abortions, during child-birth, and other pregnancy-related deaths that could have been prevented if they were allowed to make their own decision from the start.

 

Intercourse outside of marriage is expected of any man, but women are labeled all sorts of unflattering things whether a woman has a sex-life or not. Sex may once have been celebrated ritualistically as a holy joining of equals, but it has become--in many cases--the reenactment of the first power-greedy invaders conquering the Goddess. There are very few parts of the world even today that consider sex as lightly as we do. In many places, the woman is still an object to be taken and dominated…trained like a beast of burden. Rape is frequently found in modern cinema. This, perhaps, is because it proclaims a desired position of power without responsibility—the ideal sexual encounter. The attitudes towards sex outside of marriage, for pleasure and not for procreation, is sinful, supposedly on both ends, but no one thinks badly of an adolescent boy claiming his manhood in this way. Society expects this of them, yet it is the girl who suffers the consequences as they are slandered, harassed, or has to deal with an accidental pregnancy. Sexual encounters also supposedly hinder sex education policy as they contribute to ignorance that leads to a teen-age pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and also possible infertility in women. This creates needless guilt and repression over bodily functions and sexual activity for women. These attitudes have devastated many lives.  Women throughout the globe who pick pleasure over procreation have suffered unnecessary gynecological STD-related illnesses because of the Catholic Church's ban on barrier methods of contraception. Some cultures go to great lengths to prevent pleasure, even if it means butchering the female body. The sex-related pressures on women in general have already caused not only physical health problems, but mental issues, psychological trauma and neurosis, eating disorders, guilt-based stress and anxiety, low self esteem and familial problems.

 

Genital mutilation of young women is one of the most abhorrent forms of tradition-based sexual abuse. Also called female-circumcision, the partial or total removal of sensitive outer genitalia, has been practiced for centuries in parts of Africa and France as preparation for womanhood and marriage. The theory in some cases is, that by removing the pleasure sensors of the female genitalia, that a wife would be less likely to have an affair because she won't feel sexual ecstasy. Extremely health-hazardous, it is also often performed without anesthetic under septic conditions by untrained, uneducated practitioners.  This procedure can cause death or permanent health problems as well as severe pain, both physical and mental. Ignoring these grave risks, participating cultures consider it an essential part of their ethnic identity, as well as a religious responsibility. Although the practice of unnecessary surgical procedures is obviously detrimental to anyone’s health and well-being, they refuse to acknowledge its severity in the case of women subjects.  Since it is performed on girls before adulthood, before their decisions legally count, circumcision should be considered a ritualized form of child abuse and violence against women—an overall violation of human rights. The moral debate over female-circumcision is comparatively recent considering hundreds of years of tradition. And yet, women are still forced to undergo such barbaric ritualistic procedures. Only in recent decades have activists and medical practitioners brought the health consequences of genital mutilation to our attention.  Although efforts are being made to eliminate this hazardous practice, it is nearly impossible to stop a barbaric tradition, especially if it doesn’t pose a threat to the other sex's well-being. Gender is not the real issue, the true problem lies in the resistance for cultural change--many groups stand by out-dated traditions just for the sake of preserving them.

 

In terms of education, many middle-aged women have never attended college (my mother included), but studied at a secretarial school after high school instead.  In the last couple of decades, however, women have dominated the college classroom.  It is very saddening that, until the recent age, women had been excluded from schooling after primary education, either by government law (still strong in some nations) or by social law (when parents forbid them the option to attend a women’s or public college). Imagine the infinite contributions women would have had to literature, medicine, and science had the female population never been excluded, which is more than half the world population. Much less time would have been expended in the glorification of the new God over the old, the starting of greedy wars, and in political genocides. Women provide a necessary balance to man’s many physical natures, and men do the same for women. Imagine if women were allowed to speak as complete equals in positions of power, which hasn’t happened perhaps in its entirety since the times of the Great Goddess. Many of man’s worst moments throughout history might have been prevented if women were allowed education and valued for their perspective on life occurrences. The purpose of collegiate education was initially a way to serve God (the Ivy League started out as seminary schools). How can women serve a God, then? The only way for women to serve God was supposedly by serving their husbands, a very saddening notion before the first female ministers. In Islamic countries children are still taught to know the Quran by heart, as in Africa where the Bible is taught throughout primary schooling. In America, although women dominate college classrooms at present, many do not proceed in their academic career because they are pressured to settle-down during or immediately after college--my close friends are no exception.  It is also rare to find women in college-level studies outside creative tracts or humanities; men still dominate medical and law schools.  This, in part, is due to academic elitism which wrongfully stereotypes women as less analytical and therefore not the intellectual equals of men. In denying women an education in some regions by authority or by verbal/societal interference, the first usurpers of long ago still maintain their desired reign over the old religion of women and the feminine Earth.

 

Although many would disagree, when it comes to the law women suffer more prejudice and more severe verdicts than necessary.  Men, specifically adolescent boys, are expected to engage in some type of criminal behavior at least once in their lifetime, whether it is a very mild case of vandalism or gang affiliation--a very wrong stereotype. Point is, their actions when guilty are often dismissed as mild mischief among the masses, hence the expression –“Well, you know boys!” And, although it is statistically assumed that there are more criminals being put in male prisons, when a woman has committed a crime she is slandered and punished beyond reason.  The disciplinary stance of the so-called “respectable” conservative ethos, have shaped our penal system at all levels, with many references to “one nation under God” and “I swear…so help me God.” Once again, the male religion requires that women be dealt with through men as a medium of God. There are also still fewer female judges, but this seems to be changing especially in the last twenty years.  One area that women suffer heavily in is prostitution. Prostitution is usually a last resort for destitute women, and most women feel they cannot escape their pimps/madams without a near-death beating.  This is one such area that the law is insensitive about the mentality that condemns a woman to such as lifestyle. For other crimes, women’s misdeeds are often exaggerated.  In the case of Martha Stewart giving away information to her boyfriend about her company for stock-buying purposes, her debatably immoral act earned her months of televised disapproval and an exaggerated amount of time in jail and under house-arrest. Martha Stewart even commented on television something to the effect that the whole thing had been “blown largely out of proportion” simply because she is a powerful woman. A powerful man, she implied, would not have suffered the same sentence for committing the same trivial crime.

 

Sexual violence against women often occurs within prison walls, in hospitals, in the military, and inside their own homes, among many other places. Until domestic violence and rape were given any measure of severity, most women kept their abuse private, and some still continue to do so.  A man was allowed to chastise his wife within limits, which was not considered cause for police intervention. At every frustration in a man’s life, he could easily use his wife as a punching bag to work out the stress. Refuges for abused women were not widely available until the 1970’s, but nothing was really being done about the men who abused “their women”.  Rape was not punishable by law until recently. In Islamic countries, women are often abused for trivial reasons as “looking” at someone, refusing proposals, speaking, or looking too tempting. The hijab and niqab veils are designed to prevent men from being distracted by women when serving Allah. Women have also been stoned for adultery, when in fact they were raped. The notion of rape does not exist in such countries because they are obligated by law to “give sex” to their husbands when and where he wants, with no exceptions aside from the death-bed. Although some are polygamous, there are cases where husbands  “bear false witness” against their wives because they want a new wife. If a woman marries outside the permission of her family, her family may even—as a customary means to restore honor to the family—beat or kill her for dishonoring their wishes, which also supposedly dishonors Allah.

 

There are far too many ways women have been wronged since the rise of male-based monotheism. Although men too have suffered their own fair share, an entire year could be used to discuss the field of oppressed female sexuality and we still wouldn’t cover half of it.  Witch-hunts and the rape of the Earth (also called pollution, poaching and Global Warming), are among the worst on the list. For thousands of years since the birth of God, Women have been possessions to be bought and sold, to entertain and produce male heirs.  As such, women collectively have not been socially allowed their humanity and their sexuality since the time of the Goddess. Both men and women are responsible for this, for allowing the female half of the Divine to be forgotten. But, in the last few decades there has been a small glimmer of hope in light of feminist earth-based religions, eco-feminism and the neopagan movements. We have the start of a new feminine age at our fingertips. In order for this feminine age to come into full fruition a shift in consciousness must take place in the world once again—we must change the way women (and all people for that matter) and the Earth are continuously exploited for industrial gain. Humanity needs Goddess just as much as God. This shift will invoke the Goddess, rousing Her once more. The Cult of the Virgin in Latin countries is at an all-time high, and the modern, global woman is at a crossroads in her spiritual quest. She is slowly becoming conscious of her inherent deity, and as a consequent, she saves man from himself by preventing conflict and protecting the Earth.  “Going Green” is a perfect example of accepting the feminine, and nurturing or healing the damage done by the imbalanced masculine regime.  Hopefully, one day the balance will be restored.  The Goddess will set aside the past, and men and women will become perfect sexual equals once again.

 

© Alexis Umowski 2009

Found Goddesses: Maiden Goddesses - Part 3 by Barbara Ardinger, Ph.D.

Gluinhilda

Goddess of the Glue Gun

          Gluinhilda gallops across the ravages of art and craft projects astride her great golden stallion, Triggar, accompanied by her great grey wolf, Burninfingar, and her great-winged vulture, Fixinevermor. Her mission is to rescue the haggard heroes and heras of the decoration wars and carry their shattered souls up to the ever-fertile fields of the Frigenartenfolk, which are perfumed by myrrh and civet and where the air is filled with the sweet sounds of art songs.

          Hear now the legend of Gluinhilda, eldest daughter of the One-Eyed Draftsman, He Who hung upon the Tree of Art for nine days and nine nights so that He might learn to see The Straight And True.

          Gluinhilda was ever the best beloved daughter of the One-Eyed Draftsman, but it happened that one dark and stormy night She came upon a mosaicist whose tesserae were out of control. His pieces simply would not let themselves be arranged. “Sir Mosaicist,” Gluinhilda whispered into his ear, “allow Me to help thee to arrange thy pattern. Use My glue to affix thy pattern.”

          “Humbly I do thank thee,” the artist replied, “but I am bound to the service of the One-Eyed One and forbidden to accept artistic advice from any other. It is He alone Who provides the glue that I require.”

          Now Gluinhilda was a proud and cruel maiden, and, angered at this impertinent reply, She stamped Her heel in the midst of the tesserae and crushed the pieces to powder. When the mosaicist fell upon his face in despair, She picked him up, slung him across the saddle of Her great golden stallion, Triggar, and hauled him up to the fields of the Frigenartenfolk. When the mosaicist awakened, he would speak to no one but only betook himself to a lonely ash, where he gnashed his teeth and called out to his god.

          After the One-Eyed One had listened to His disciple’s complaint, He appeared before His daughter. “Daughter,” the One-Eyed One thundered, “thou hast done wrong in stealing my artist. Thou hast sinned in offering him thy glue What hast thou to say in reply?”

          “I heard the prayer of one in need of better glue,” whispered the goddess, “and I came to succor him.”

          “Thou art indeed My favorite daughter, but still I curse thee with the curse of impermanence,” said the One-Eyed One. “Thou shalt fall into sleep and awaken only when thou art found by an artist who fears no technique.” And He raised a ring of magic fire and music around His daughter to protect Her from second-rate artists and large tenors waving swords.

          And it came to pass that Gluinhilda lay within that ring of magic fire for one hundred years, and during all that time the glue guns were impotent and the people turned to the use of glue sticks and mucilage. As it was eventually foretold (to make a long story shorter), in the hundredth year, came Sigfreedrifta, the hero, and Sigfreedrifta was unafraid of any technique. When he saw the maiden within the ring of magic fire and heard the magic fire music, he awakened Her and asked Her to teach him all Her wisdom.

          She opened Her eyes and found him fair of countenance, and at last She spoke. “When My Great Glue Gun has affixed one thing to another thing, neither thy brute strength nor thy Xacto blade can rend them asunder again. Not all thy charms nor any of thy regret can change what has been Glued. For what I set in place is eternal. Thou canst not change thy mind when thou workst with My tools.”

          And Gluinhilda began to sink down once again into Her lasting sleep and the hero readied himself to set forth once more into the world. “Wait!” She whispered, “Thou art brave. Here is My Sacred Glue Gun. Take it with thee into the world and teach its use to all who are in need.” And She fell back within the ring of magic fire and slept again. Sigfreedrifta bowed in the four directions, holstered the Sacred Glue Gun at his side, and, riding through the world, proclaimed the secret uses of hot glue to all who would listen. His epic words were set down and came to be called the Adhesive Edda, and this is the holy teaching with which we scholars of glue are familiar to this day. And when we have any project or any decoration, we take great care for we still remember the holy words of Gluinhilda and know that what is once affixed cannot be split asunder.

Barbara Ardinger, Ph.D. (www.barbaraardinger.com), is the author of Pagan Every Day: Finding the Extraordinary in Our Ordinary Lives (RedWheel/Weiser, 2006), a unique daybook of daily meditations, stories, and activities. Her earlier books are Finding New Goddesses, Quicksilver Moon, Goddess Meditations, and Practicing the Presence of the Goddess. Her day job is freelance editing for people who don't want to embarrass themselves in print. Barbara lives in southern California. To purchase a signed copy of Finding New Goddesses, just send Barbara an email at bawriting@earthlink.net.

Herb of the Season: Larkspur by Dawn "Belladonna" Thomas

(Delphinium Consolida)

Poisonous

Alternate names: Lark’s Heel, Lark’s Toe, Lark’s Claw, Knight’s Spur, Staggerweed

Part Used: Flowering Herb

Planets: Venus

Gender: Feminine

Element: Water

Power: Health and Protection

The name Delphinium comes from Delphin (a dolphin) was given to these genus because the buds (the glad in the blossoms that secrete nectar) were held to resemble a dolphin. Shakespeare mentions the plant under the name of Lark’s Heel. The name Consolida refers to the plant’s power of consolidating wounds.

Many delphiniums are poisonous to cattle.

The active principle of the plant – Delphinine – is the same as Stavesacre and is an irritant poison. Children should be warned against putting any part of this plant, or of its garden representatives, into their mouths. The seeds are especially dangerous and cause vomiting and purging if eaten.

Botanical:

Delphinium is a stately, elegant perennial that is a standard in English cottage gardens. Mounds of dark green, glossy foliage are adorned with huge spikes of showy, spurred flowers in early summer. Another common name is larkspur, although this name usually refers to annual varieties.

Stavesacre (poisonous) is a species of Larkspur, a stout erect herb attaining four feet in height. It is indigenous to Asia Minor and southern Europe. It is cultivated in France and Italy mostly from Trieste and from the south of Italy.

Annual larkspurs (sometimes separated as the genus Consolida) include the common rocket larkspur and its varieties, with bright blue, pink, or white flowers on branching stalks. Perennial larkspurs tend toward blue flowers but vary to pink, white, red, and yellow. Many hybrids have arisen, notably the cultivars ‘Belladonna’ and ‘Bellamosa,’ which bear large blue to violet flowers on tall branched spires.

Scarlet larkspur (Delphinium cardinale) has lovely flowers for the summer garden. Candle larkspur (Delphinium elatum) is one of the sources for many of the most beautiful delphinium hybrids today. The flowers are now available in white, lavender, blue, and purple.

The Belladonna hybrids are light blue with 5-foot stalks and, if spent flowers are removed, they will usually produce blooms all summer long. Casa Blanca is pure white. The Blackmore and Langdon hybrids were first developed in 1905. Today's plants bear pastel blue, lavender, white, violet, and indigo flowers on 4- to 5-foot stems. The Pacific Coast hybrids produce 7-foot stalks that must be staked even when given protection; the flowers in various shades of blue and pink are spectacular. Magic Fountain is a dwarf version growing to 30 inches with double blooms.

Connecticut Yankee is a bush delphinium with single flowers of mixed colors on 30-inch stalks. The Siberian larkspur(Delphinium grandiflorum or D. chinensis), has finely cut foliage and blue flowers on 2- to 3-foot stalks, blooming the first year from seed if started early. Blue Mirror has gentian-blue flowers, and Alba is white.

The alternate leaves are cut and divided. Plants produce tall spikes of showy flowers, usually in shades of blue, each having a long spur behind the petals. The flowers are in short racemes, pink, purple or blue, followed by glabrous follicles containing black, flattened seeds with acute edges and pitted surfaces. The seeds are poisonous, have an acrid and bitter taste, but are inodorous.

Lore:

We find references to larkspur passed down with Midsummer celebrations. There are references of a custom widespread throughout Europe to strengthen the eyes by looking at the Midsummer ritual fire through bunches of larkspur or other flowers held in hand.

Stavesacre was well known to both the Greeks and Romans. Dioscorides mentions it, and Pliny describes its use as a parasiticide. It continued to be extensively used throughout the Middle Ages.

Homeopathic and Herbal Uses:

Caution: This herb is perhaps too powerful for internal use. The seeds if eaten cause severe vomiting and purging.

When prepared as a well filtered wash it could be used to bathe the eyes. A tincture can be made using the seed and acts as a parasiticide and insecticide, being used to destroy lice and nits in the hair. Add a few drops to shampoo. The fresh juice of the leaf is applied as a poultice for bleeding hemorrhoids.

The expressed juice of the petals with the addition of a little alum makes a good blue ink.

Magical uses; Gaze at the Midsummer fires through a bunch of larkspur to strengthen the eyes. Delphinium provides generous, altruistic leadership. The larkspur keeps away ghosts. If you look through a bunch of larkspur at a Midsummer fire your eyes will be preserved for the next year, until another Midsummer. The flowers frighten off scorpions and other venomous creatures.

Larkspur may be used in ritual healing, particularly when the eyes are involved. Those wishing to improve the quality of their sight, not only the physical but their ability to perceive the world around them, would be wise to work with this herb.

Larkspur (or even the delphinium found in our gardens) makes a lovely decoration for the Midsummer temple. We suspect, but cannot verify, that the name is derived from Delphi.

Sources:

Beyerl, Paul. A Compendium of Herbal Magick. Phoenix Publishing Inc. Custer Washington. 1998

Grieve, M. A Modern Herbal Volume II. Dover Publications, New York. 1971

Cunningham, Scott. Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs. Llewellyn Publications. St. Paul, Minnesota. 2000.

Hopman, Ellen Evert. A Druid’s Herbal for the Sacred Earth Year. Destiny Books, Rochester, Vermont. 1995

http://plants.usda.gov/java/profile?symbol=DELPH

http://www.garden.org/plantguide/?q=show&id=2046

http://home.howstuffworks.com/delphinium-larkspur.htm

"larkspur." Encyclopædia Britannica. 2009. Encyclopædia Britannica Online. 05 Jun. 2009 <http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/330654/larkspur>.

Mama Donna's Spirit Shop

Moon Schedule from Litha to Lammas by Dawn “Belladonna” Thomas

(Times are Eastern Time)

New Moon – June 22^nd 3:35 p.m.

2^nd Quarter – June 29^th 7:28 a.m.

Full “Blessing” Moon – July 7^th 5:21 a.m.

4^th Quarter – July 15^th 5:53 a.m.

New Moon – July 21^st 10:34 p.m.

2^nd Quarter –July 28^th 6:00 p.m.

Moon Void of Course Schedule

Date                                   Starts                                  Ends

Planting Days

June 23^rd, 24^th

July 1^st, 2^nd, 11^th, 12^th, 16^th, 17^th, 20^th, 28^th, 29^th, 30^th

Harvesting Days

June 22^nd

July 8^th, 9^th, 10^th, 13^th, 14^th, 15^th, 18^th, 19^th, 20^th

Poems by Bendis

At the Beach...

We climb the white hills,
our feet sinking in warm sand
as we anticipate our joy together
between the dunes up ahead.

I feel the cool, salty water
licking our feet
as we walk together
in the pleasure of the day. 

I cannot wait to have the warm sun
melting down upon our hot bodies,
as we entwine ourselves and
taste the sweetness of love's pleasure.

I can smell the sea
mingled with the sweet scent
of your lips opening to me
and I rush to have love's wild pleasure.

Whisper.....

Did you hear the whisper in my sigh?
Did you feel the sadness in my cry?
Words not said, thoughts not read
Feelings hurt and hearts afraid
So new to each other…

Open each surprise with care
Hear the sound of feeling.
Talk to me of secrets
Talk to me of pain
So that I may know you.

Talk to me of wonder
Talk to me of joy
Imagine dreams of wanting
Of passion and of pleasure,
That inspire me to play.

 

 Shivers.....

Feeling shivers on my skin
from soft and sensuous hands
silky sensations seeking within
sounding your name in the darkness
sexy sensations
dancing building inside
awakening me to every pleasure

 

Sacred Sexuality by Mut Danu

I have always been curious about what exactly it meant to serve the Goddess as a Temple Priestess of Sacred Sexuality. Certainly what we know and believe has been colored by Western culture from the Victorian Age to the present day and which has always described the Sacred Temple of the Goddess as nothing more than a house of prostitution and the Priestesses as whores (all in a perjorative sense). Any concept of spirituality that would have been present has been left out of the description and modern thought.) As feminists and as women of the Goddess, it is vital that we reflect upon the alternatives to patriarchal thought. My own reflections took on the form of a song. This song is sung by the Temple Priestess, the Worshipper at the Temple and the Goddess Herself. The song describes the entry of a woman into the Temple and her transformation into priestess and then into Goddess. The worshipper enters the Temple and is transformed into Goddess. The body of the Goddess is given to both, partaken of by both. The separation-dissolution brings with it knowing, and finally transformation to both the priestess and worshipper.

Song of the Sacred Mystery of the Body of the Goddess

Enter the Priestess:

I am a woman, before me is the gateway to the Temple

I enter

cool shady grottos, sweet smelling vines, splashing water, song of birds

Her body.

My mundane life falls away, my everyday dress falls to the ground, my hair falls loosely down my back.

I become

I drink the water perfumed with petals of kumquat and honey. I paint my lips with pomegranate. I anoint my skin with jasmine.

The Goddess.

Enter the Worshipper:

I am one who comes to the Temple, I open the door to the Mystery.

I enter

My senses come alive, my heart beats so quickly, I feel Her presence here, O Goddess!

Her body.

My mundane life falls away, like everyday clothes, discarded, unneeded. She stands before me.

I become

Her jasmine perfumed body glistens under my awestruck hands, her pomegranate lips grace mine with their touch, her breath fills me with the sweetest dreams and memories.

The Goddess.

Speaks the Goddess:

I am Goddess. All who enter the Mystery, become part of me.

We partake

I am togetherness, love and ecstasy.

of her body

I am both body and spirit, nature and thought, enfolding all within, spinning out beyond the senses.

We are one

I am the caress, the softness and sharpness, the laughter and cry of delight.

with Goddess Knowing:

Our bodies glowing, softly I draw back from the one who sought the Mystery.

My body pulsing, I pull myself away from Her body.

We are nourished

Our energies, mingled, exploded, sent bursting out into the universe

by her body.

Transformation:

I am a woman, full of life and promise. I have gone to the Temple and partaken in the Mystery.

I am one who has gone to the Temple, seeking to understand the Mystery

We are deepened

What we have found cannot be explained or described with words

The Mystery of Her rests in our hearts and bodies, in our desire.

In Goddess.

Our bodies are her Body

Her Mystery rests within us.

Joyous Summer Solstice 2009,

Mut Danu, HPS

Mut Danu is a High Priestess of the Apple Branch, a Dianic Tradition and founder of La Branche du Pommier in France where she is an active member of the pagan community.

mutdanu@ymail.com

Solitary Ritual for Summer Solstice By Dawn “Belladonna” Thomas

Preparation and Altar Needs:

Cut flowers to create a circle

A Red candle to represent the fire of passion, sexuality and creativity

Chalice with beverage of your choice

(Prior to the ritual decide on the type of meditation and work you want to do during the ritual. Have the necessary items for the work you choose.)

Casting the Circle:

Hail to the Element of the East, Ancient Spirit of Air.  Let me feel your warm summer breezes upon my skin. I ask you to please join me today.

Hail to the Element of the South, Ancient Spirit of Fire.  The fire of my sexuality is awakening along with an abundance of new life to grow.  I ask you to please join me today.

Hail to the Element of the West, Ancient Spirit of Water.  Let your rain water fall down upon the earth so that new life can grow.  I ask you to please join me today.

Hail to the Element of the North, Ancient Spirit of Earth.  The flowers are fertile with their summer blooms that are fragrant with their arousing scent. I ask you to please join me today.

Gaia, Mother Goddess of the Earth, your love and nurturing compassion inspires me to be creative. May I be your sustains my life.  I honor you and ask you to join me today.

The Mediation and Work:

During this time of year, we celebrate the sensuality of the maiden and her sexual union with her consort. With this we feel the spark and heat of our sexuality. Light the red candle as a symbol the awakening sexuality and creative fire inside you.  Think about the following thoughts and questions then meditate on the responses.

Explore your passion and sexuality. How does it make you feel? Where is the fiery life force and energy in my life? What is the trigger? How do I express my sexuality? Is it often enough, if not how can I increase the feeling?

With the Maiden reaching sexual maturity, we honor her becoming a mother and the season of growth.  It is a time to reflect what we are manifesting in our lives.  Spend a few moments thinking about this. 

What are you manifesting?  How are you manifesting this?  What are the things you feel strongly about that would help you fuel this creative fire?

Now is the time to be creative – To release creative forces.  Make, build or create something to represent your passion and sexuality. This can be something you make with your hands or something you write.  It can also be something using your voice or a movement or dance.

When you are finished, offer a blessing and thanks to the Goddess then drink from your chalice. 

Closing the Circle

Gaia, Mother Goddess of the Earth, I feel your loving arms around me. I will keep your creative and passionate spirit in my heart.  I honor you and thank you for joining me today.  Hail and Farewell.

Element of the North, Spirit of Earth, the sensual essence of your fragrant flowers will remain with me.  Thank you for joining me today.  Hail and Farewell.

Element of the West, Spirit of Water, the fertile earth is renewed from your cleansing waters.  Thank you for joining me today.  Hail and Farewell.

Element of the South, Spirit of Fire, my body is alive with sexuality. Thank you for joining me today.  Hail and Farewell.

Element of the East, Spirit of Air, the gentle breeze blowing across my body has made me feel alive.  Thank you for joining me today.  Hail and Farewell.

The Circle is open but unbroken. 

Blessed Be!

Talking About Sex with Your Daughter by Bendis

When and how do we teach our daughters about sexuality?  Is this something about which we can have conversation? How do we begin?

Conversations with your daughter about sexuality are easy if conversation is easy.  If there is openness to listening about any subject, she will never hesitate to bring it to you. If, when she comes to you with something, when you are always open and receiving and do not act shocked or horrified when she does, she will trust her thoughts and feelings with you.  Young girls need to trust that their mother’s reactions will be calm and non-reactional and that what they have on their mind is something they can always share with you.  You cannot expect to have easy conversation about sex if you cannot talk about other things easily. There is a relationship of trust built from day one that will lead to open and honest communication.

My girls are grown now and I know there are many things I could have done better as a mother.  The one thing I know I did well was in building trust with them and in having the assurance that they could talk with me and, that I could talk with them, about anything.

I did not want my daughters to have the experiences I had with my early sexual partners.  I wanted them to know their own bodies.  I wanted them to be comfortable in exploring their bodies and in learning what gave them pleasure.  I wanted them to understand that it was always their choice when to experience the sexual pleasure and that they were responsible for their own orgasms.

Giving and receiving pleasure with another requires a deep level of intimacy.  We must learn to trust the other person with our bodies.  We must be willing to show them what gives us pleasure and be open to them sharing with us what pleases them.  We cannot do that if we ourselves do not know and are not comfortable with that knowledge.

I was twenty-five years old when I had my very first orgasm with my husband.  We had been married over five years.  He did not know anything about a woman’s body and I did not know about my own body.  They did not teach us about things like that when I was growing up.  Certainly, my mother did not teach me and yet, it was to my mother that I turned when I realized that something was amiss in my sexual experience.  She recommended a book and I read it.  It was very straightforward and I practiced just as the book instructed and hey, it took no time at all.  I just needed to know about my body, and how to have an orgasm! So I learned! Once I knew, I could share with my husband and our intimate life improved.

A young woman should not have to wait that long, certainly not five years plus into a marriage.  The hurt and misunderstanding that occurred with what we considered my sexual “problems” never really worked themselves out but then, there were other issues were present.

I was watching the Oprah show the other day.  I am glad I did because there was a discussion going on between Oprah, a couple of other women and a man and they were discussing what girls should be told and what not.  I was so amazed at the outrage a couple of them expressed when Oprah suggested that girls needed to be taught about their own bodies!  There clearly was a double standard shown at the idea of girls masturbating.  “Oh, everyone knows that boys do that, but, oh, no, not girls!  Girls should not do that.”  Oprah was straightforward about it but not the others.  I found myself yelling at the television!

Girls need guidance in learning about their bodies.  They need to know what works, what feels good and what does not.  They need to know how to give themselves orgasms.  They need to know that it is perfectly normal to explore and to masturbate.  They will not go blind; they will not ruin their chances for a normal sex life later. They need to know they are responsible for their own pleasure.  They can learn this from their mothers or from a good book.  Personally, I think the good book is best because privacy is important.  They will appreciate the book and not be embarrassed.   Learning that they can have an orgasm without sexual intercourse frees them to say no when feeling pressured into sex with a boy.  They need to know that they can be out with a boy and not have to have sex when they do not wish it, even if they become aroused.  It is good for them to know they can come home and satisfy themselves until such a time, as they are ready to share intimately with someone else.

It can be very hard to talk about sex with our daughters.  Even today, when I am in a discussion about sex with either of my daughters, who are both in their forties, I tend to hold back a bit, wondering just how much I wish to talk about or reveal.  I am not sure why that is! Perhaps it is an old-fashioned reserve; a line between too much said between mother and daughter.  I do know, however, that when I know their sex lives are good, I am happy for them!

If all you can do is present her with that book – do it!  Be sure to tell her when you hand it to her, that you are willing to talk about any part of it, if they wish that.  Be sure she can identify what all of the different parts are in her most private of places and how they function.  Get a picture that clearly shows everything.  Talk to her about what happens during sexual arousal.  If she understands how everything works, then she can experiment on her own.

Consider this as one more gift you can give your daughter!

Blessings,

Bendis

The Ties That Bind By Angie Skelhorn

I am the image of a witch, surrounded by open pastures, on a hilltop near a forest and wildlife, close to the people who care about my well-being. Although I am doing my own thing, I'm still influenced by male energy.

Once a week my kitchen becomes the meeting place for a handful of my male friends. Three of them work in a factory and two are farm hands. During our visits joys, problems and emotional hiccups are discussed. When something in my home needs maintenance each will come to my aid. The job may not be fixed on my time line, but it will be completed. These men have strength, will and determination to get things done. The first is to protect me at the sight of a storm. Their wives or girlfriends are not threatened by our friendship. I'm sure they kept their eyes and ears open when I first came on the scene. I don't give them a reason to mistrust my intentions.

It's hard to entrust ones self to another and stand firm in the bond we create. To truly believe someone will protect rather than harm. My male friends taught me a man will show his heart by his words mirroring his deeds and stand with both feet planted.

We all have the opportunity to meet people. Some will become partners, a memory, or a true friend. Not all people, male or female are compatible. With a perspective mate, the mind has the power to conjure that which the heart craves. We can program ourselves to think someone is perfect. The compassion from the heart makes excuses to accept someone’s negative words and deeds. To feel pain in a relationship is a blessing in disguise. The disagreeable stimuli act as a trigger to recognize danger. The sensation helps to identify harm. The union isn't going to be what you expect it to be.

If you pursue someone for material or personal security, you already know the outcome. The heart will crave love; imaginary or real, the heart will crave love. To be in love is the very essence of magic. To be in a comfortable inspiring emotion that will make you vulnerable and want to give with one expectation, to see the other person smile. When there is no mutual agreement expressed the emotion could become a hindrance and very detrimental to ones self. When the relationship goes wrong, everything goes wrong.

People screw up. It is what we do best. Give someone the time to be your friend. Commit to knowing each other. Set your standards- acceptable and non acceptable behavior in your personal space. Instant gratification is here today, gone tomorrow.

A man is motivated by thought and appreciation. He thinks and then does with action expected- the acknowledgement of gratitude for the action. A woman is motivated by her emotions and then she acts. Most women are nurtures with mothering tendencies. With this quality women may attract needy men, because they can see the strength. The way you wish someone to act may not be who they are. For every bad thing that happens, a good thing will happen. We have all been lucky in love. Even the heartbreak was worth the experience. The breakup said he or she wasn't the missing piece to your puzzle. There is a better person more suited; someone who will see you for you.

Try to choose a deserving consort worthy of your intimate love. One who will respect your individuality, family, and friends, honoring the union, enjoying the love that can be shared by two opposites who understand the complexity of the differences. In a committed union two individuals join by attraction, while attempting to understand the others needs, and each make personal adjustments. Both create a stable and secure atmosphere on the physical level. On the emotional level each value and respect as much as themselves.

Your partner and friends are a reflection of who you are. With this knowledge be inspired to be the best you and that may draw others and bring benefit to you and to them.

Angie Skelhorn's website http://witchskel.weebly.com

Touching the Button By H. Byron Ballard

    When my daughter was young, she asked me excitedly about the button in her yoni. When you touched it, apparently, it felt very good. Did I know about that? She seemed a little surprised that I did indeed know about the button and that most every woman has one. I am hopeful that it didn’t diminish her pleasure in her discovery--pun intended--to learn that it wasn’t unique to her.

    As I grow older, as the Crone time approaches, my thoughts don’t turn as often to this subject. While I was transitioning into menopause, there were many long months of non-interest. Not in a partner, not even in my button. I began to talk to my contemporaries and we traded some interesting observations about coming of age in the untamed 1970s, rearing children--especially girl-children--in the age of HIV/AIDS and what it means to move beyond child-bearing to a new land.

    What do you say about a generation of women, many of whom came of age sexually during a period of time that has come to be called The Sexual Revolution? We heard the harsh strictures of our mothers--the only time they talked to us about sex. Dire warnings of what should or shouldn’t be done, laced with a tinge of regret, spiced with a dash of longing for the freedom they felt during WWII, when the men were gone and the factory floors were filled by strong, happy women.

    We reinvented the notions around women and sex, found ways to grapple with issues of intimacy divorced from issues of pleasure. Some of us learned that our affections and lust lay in other women; some of us discovered that serial monogamy was best, some of us discovered that we took love and pleasure where we could find it and the gender of our partner mattered less than the connection.

    The Roe decision gave us more choices, birth control options blossomed before us. There were toys and lotions and whispered talk of tantra. We licked honey from our partners’ bodies and lay sated and alive. We read long-forgotten histories of how the world could be, how it was. There were blue curves of water and sandy shores, the smell of shellfish on our fingers. We were pioneers in a beautiful land.

    Then the Reagan years fell upon us, and some of our friends grew ill and died from a new disease. The mood of the country turned cold, as we grappled again with whom we were and how we were. Then Bush and Clinton and Bush. Sex slave trafficking and Internet porn and women who call themselves feminists getting boob jobs. We stand now on the edge of a new territory, with the ravages of another land behind us. In that land, sexuality has become again a commodity, a terror, a point of pain and argument and grief. We dream of those heady days and nights when we were powerful and free.

    As a writer, I process much of my thought and some of my feeling through the written word. As I heard more of my friend’s stories, I catalogued them in my writer’s-head and let it all stew around a bit.

    Then I hit on an idea.

    I’m going to write erotica for women over 50.

    I’ve sketched out the series of stories and several age-appropriate friends have graciously agreed to be readers. Market research is scanty, at best, and I have no idea if anyone will be remotely interested. And yet…and yet.

    Remember the France of Anais Nin’s stories? The long nights, the frisson of excitement and desire? What if we had that now? “At our age”? With a dash of humor and a cupful of hope, the mystery of new lands to be conquered and enjoyed is good for our woman-souls, our woman-bodies. There will be honey in this new land, and freedom and heat.

    I’ll keep you posted.

 

Your Life – Your Choice By Angie Skelhorn

We are all sexual beings in an out-of-control environment. In movies, television and magazines, each figure is inspected and scrutinized, valued for being sexy and attractive.

Advertising dictates sex and body parts are the only thing people are worth.

We are all sexual beings with the power how to express that. Some women want their heart's desire; others just want sex, sometimes both, other times neither. People have sex. Almost everyone is capable. Sex can create life, release stress, or share in closeness.

Some women find it easier to release inhibitions. They have a more relaxed point of view. Those women readily display their sexual side. The may ooze sex to manipulate, toy with others emotions in order to get what they want. Money can make someone real attractive. Sex appeal rises with both wealth and looks.

Some females aspire to be sexy and hot. They try to be as provocative as possible to capture the attention of as many admirers as possible. They will compete for the hottest, cutest mate. There is a group of women who believe there should be shared respect and admiration in order to express their sexual side.

A woman shouldn't compare herself by other females’ standards. People do what they do. It's just the way it is. No ones life is the same. We all have a rebellious streak.

One must decide for themselves if they want image or substance - sex or a meaningful relationship. There is a message we send out by the way we dress and act. We teach people how to treat us, either as a booty-call or relationship material. When we pursue certain life-styles, activities, or people, like everything there are consequences.

What you project, you will attract. If sex is used as a game, you may never be taken seriously by a potential partner. To pick and choose by height, hair, eye color and weight, you, too, will be judged by the physical. If you can control your sexual impulses and try to get to know a person's character you may discover a mind, heart and body connection. Someone you're attracted to who will treat you well and motivate you to do better.

Both men and women enjoy the conquest. Many in society have come to view sex as being a form of recreation and separate it from love; this compartmentalization confuses others. Love triangles, betrayals and intrigues can take a long time to recover from.

We all have different standards. Some people put much value on diversity and intercourse. Others are looking for quality that is going to last. If you are okay with what you are doing and the results, more power to you. If not, change your standards, you'll find you may change your choices. Self-control, you might meet someone attracted to you, for you. Looks good, feels good, why not? You might someone who will like you for your body parts and what you can do with them.

What one achieves is to be achieved through ones self-motivated effort.

Angie Skelhorn's website http://witchskel.weebly.com